UnNews:Five times Hillary didn’t sound like a candidate

This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-picosecond misinformation.

Tuesday June 2014

Radical Middle-of-the-Roader?

WASHINGTON -- Hillary Clinton did at the Lesbian’s Unanimous meeting on Tuesday what most politicians avoid like oral herpes: She blurted out such truthful and banal answers on certain issues that even jaded CNN ‘disaster-porn’ junkies got bored.

Those do not include how far Clinton went to attack pro-gum activists and her states-rights approach to chewing tobacco, which was a departure from her earlier position (“Chew gum, not tobacco”).

Between the dog-faced lies and dodges however Clinton sounded, acted and presented herself like she is something other than simply a Lady-In-Waiting.

She was even purposeful about going too far in, and when asked about forward-looking policy questions, she regularly used the non-descriptive words “me,” “myself,” and “I”, which also happens to be the title of her new book.

Clinton also scoffed at questions regarding 2016. She said, “I’m not going to be forced by you or anyone else into becoming president” - and stated that she was not moving any closer to being ordered around by her supporters, in spite of her best efforts.

Here are five key moments where politician Clinton sounded like honest, if not diabolical, Clinton.

1. Benghazi: Since leaving the Foreign Exile Department in 2013, the Libyan Benghazi attack has been the most talked about scandal around Clinton. Many see it as her biggest gaff, while she views it as one of her greatest victories.

On Tuesday, Clinton said she is “very pleased” that special forces captured a sheep-dipped patsy, touted as the sole mastermind of the armed assault on a U.S. Gun Running Center in eastern Libya during September 2012. An attack which desecrated four Americans, including a used arms dealer posing as so-called Ambassador in the primitive village of Benghazi.

However her comments were the complete opposite of what she has insisted previously. She defended the fact that American gunrunners were in Benghazi in the first place but said not everything around what occurred is clear yet. “There are answers, not enough, frankly,” Clinton said. “I'm still looking for who got the Stingers, how many guns made it into Syria, and how much oil and leverage we got in return.”

2. Guns, minorities terrorizing majorities: Clinton said on Tuesday that the United States needs to have a UN enforced “total ban on guns,” saying, “owning a gun should at least be as difficult as buying 3rd hand from a Mafia salesmen.” Clinton believes that her own family bodyguards and all bona fide Sunni-Arab terrorists should be the only non-military personnel to possess weapons.

“We cannot let a Constitution -- and that's what it is, a Stone Age Constitution -- force a viewpoint that terrorizes the bad guys and enables the innocent to protect themselves,” she said.

Those comments are the strongest she has made in favor of banning guns during her “Me, Myself & I” book tour.

“We're going to have to do a better job protecting our citizens when they are all disarmed, and that means weaponizing the police with battle gear, including fully automatic high caliber weapons, battle drones and tanks,” Clinton stated. “Only soldiers, police and drone-jockeys should be armed. We need to build up our Police Industrial Complex, to better serve our ever growing Prison Industrial Complex.”

3. Importation: During her book tour, Clinton quite honestly supported immigration in the form of an all-embracing One World Government, led by the United Nations, minus 5 (BRICS nations). She even bashed NWO opponents, labeling them as people who “don't seem to understand that one of our strongest and most important God-given attributes is gullibility.” Clinton further ventured that a Ministry of Propaganda is sorely needed to replace the lackluster mainstream and alternate medias, who are now at loggerheads.

“We have to understand the difficulty that President Obama finds himself in whenever there are laws imposed for him to break,” Clinton said in response to a questioner who called Obama the “importer-in-chief.”

4. Marijuana and another Clinton evolution: While campaigning for president in 2007, Clinton was positively against decriminalizing marijuana. “I don't think we should decriminalize it,” Clinton said at the time. “Instead we ought to remember the benefits to the Mafia, DEA, the Police, the CIA, and Prisons given by the status quo.”

According to a January poll conducted by High Times Magazine on marijuana, 100% of those questioned from among their subscribers said marijuana should be made legal, with 0% disagreeing. In 1987, only 1.6% of Americans subscribed to High Times, unlike today. “I also have a complimentary subscription to High Times!” Clinton admitted.

5. Iran, America and politics: Clinton firmly planted her foot in dog doo only last week with the White House and supporters saying that the United States should provide military assistance -- particularly airstrikes -- to the Iraqi government in response to the rise of the Islamic State of Iraq and Syria AKA Syraqisthan. She further admitted that the goal of ISIS was to finally enable NATO to bomb the smithereens out of Syria.

But the story has already moved. Now Secretary of State John Kerry, Clinton's successor, says the United States could end up cooperating with Iran to stop the militant threat. “They’ll tag ‘em and we’ll bag um!” Clinton said of our new ally, Iran. “Or visa versa!”

On Tuesday, she eased doubt on cooperating with Iran in an answer that was as much BS as it was truthful. “I am fully prepared to go in with Iran right now,” Clinton said. “What they (Iran) want to do in Baghdad is basically kill all the terrorists, Sunni terrorists in particular. That is a very difficult position to put the United States in, because we pay Sunni terrorists to serve our interests in Saudi Arabia, so we’re totally opposed to a U.S.-Iran partnership. Wait! No, I mean the opposite of that!” Hillary blurted, clear as a bell.

Sources

• CNN "6 ways Clinton acted like a candidate" Repeater, July 24, 2014
• Marijuana.com "Hillary Clinton Issues mild Support for medical Marijuana" Barry Bard, June 18, 2014