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UnGames:Pick Up the Phone Booth and Aisle/youstinkatsinging2

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"Beautiful dreamer, blah blah blah blah..."

You start to serenade the phone booth with your cat-in-a-blender-like voice. Suddenly, a very large woman (who actually looks like a crossdressing man in a fatsuit bursts out of the booth. You look at her.

And she looks back at you. (Okay... you think.)

And you look at her.

And she looks back at you. (You become unnerved.)

And you look at her.

And the lady's still staring, and at this point you are so totally creeped out. However, little hearts appear in her eyes like in the cartoons, and she says, "I liek yoo! We git morreed een wuuun howher!" (Which, roughly translated from Sterotypicalinese, means "You're getting married whether you want to or not!!!!")

"But I'm already married!" you shout, but the lady grabs you. (Don't eat me!! you think.) But instead, she gives you the most passionate kiss ever had, one so passionate that the lady becomes pregnant. Gross.

Unfortunately, your wife, who became worried when you didn't come home to sign the divorce papers at 6 o'clock, walks in at that precise instant with the intention of making up with you. She loses that intent when she sees you with the lady.

"YOU!" she shouts. "I KNEW you were having an affair!"

"But honey, I-"

"No buts!" she says. "Although..." she continues, staring at the lady's large posterior, "hers is kinda nice. What's yer name, hot stuff?"

The lady loses all interest in you and turns to your wife. "Dey coll mee Mees Gretanuvia Thalluaniao Hao-Ming-san von Iilsengruben-hyphen-Deegerlievyhaouperiumniukiukiukiuk." (Roughly translated: "Hi hottie my name's Bobbie.")

Your wife forges your handwriting (as she was formerly a secret agent/infamous forger in a past life), and she and Bobbie run off and become horny lesbians.

*** You continue shopping as if nothing happened. Meanwhile, your ex-wife and her partner are being arrested in front of the store for leaving without paying for the fat lady's 27,000 items. ***


But wait...

You feel a tremendous wrench – the hand of God coming down to wipe clean the temporal chalkboard. The world dissolves, and then quickly floods back into existence, restoring its state as it was before you made your move.

But somehow, things aren't set up exactly the same as last time....

Late Thursday night. You've had a hard day and the last thing you need is this: shopping. Luckily, the place is pretty empty and you're progressing rapidly.

On to the next aisle.

The aisle stretches to the north, and back to the south. The shelves on either side of you block your view of the rest of the supermarket, with only the brightly colored aisle markers visible.

You have stopped your trolley next to the pasta section, bright plastic bags full of pale skin-tone shapes.

There is a brunette woman a few meters ahead, filling her trolley with sauces.

A shiny metal phone booth sits in the center of the aisle.


Your move:

*Secret option!
Super-secret option!
Double super-secret option!

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