UnGames:Pick Up the Phone Booth and Aisle/xme
Well, you can examine yourself- I don't imagine anyone else would want to:
Sad, wheezing and lonely, you are the paragon of late middle-age, with the bulge of your stomach- which seems only yesterday to have been a washboard- spilling over the edges of your trousers like the top of a muffin, and the pallid shine of your bald, bald scalp peeking through your pathetic comb-over, mocking your own sense of social and physical impotence. Your broken-veined face is ruddy and glistening with sweat from the exertion of just walking a few feet, and your weak little lungs puff away, reminding you of everything you've let yourself become incapable of. Looking back on the pointless, monotonous years in which you have merely gone through the motions of living- never enjoying yourself and barely even feeling sad, being so numbed by a life of disappointment- you know that in a world so bleak and bare of emotion for little, bitter people like you there is no reason for going on, and that breathing has merely become a habit. Your promise as a person is spent, and you've done nothing worthwhile with your life. The likelihood is that no-one will come to your funeral, but if that weren't so you wouldn't be at this point. Without even crying, not even with some sort of grim resolve, you empty the bottle of paracetamol you've just bought into your mouth, sit on the floor, and wait as the light fades forever. No-one even tries to stop you. A final twinge of regret grips you in the last moment, but not for this last act- rather for a whole life misspent.
- *** You've died, wondering what the punchline's going to be ***
But wait...
You feel a tremendous wrench – the hand of God coming down to wipe clean the temporal chalkboard. The world dissolves, and then quickly floods back into existence, restoring its state as it was before you made your move.
But somehow, things aren't set up exactly the same as last time....
Late Thursday night. You've had a hard day and the last thing you need is this: shopping. Luckily, the place is pretty empty and you're progressing rapidly.
On to the next aisle.
The aisle stretches to the north, and back to the south. The shelves on either side of you block your view of the rest of the supermarket, with only the brightly colored aisle markers visible.
You have stopped your trolley next to the pasta section, bright plastic bags full of pale skin-tone shapes.
There is a brunette woman a few meters ahead, filling her trolley with sauces.
A shiny metal phone booth sits in the center of the aisle.
Your move:
- Use the phone booth
- Examine phone booth
- Examine aisle
- Examine me
- Examine woman
- talk to woman
- talk to me
- talk to phone booth
- sing
- inventory
- go to the magazine aisle
- look north
- look south
- look east
- look west
- look left
- look right
- look up
- look down
- look out
- look away
- go north
- go south
- go east
- go west
- go left
- go right
- go forward
- go backward
- jump
- jump back
- fly up
- tunnel down
- travel to past
- travel to present
- travel to future
- undo
- redo
- wait
- fall asleep
- wake up
- eat food
- eat the phone booth
- push booth
- fill booth
- draw booth
- dig around booth
- dig booth
- your mom
- pinch me
- cast Frotz
- cast Meteo
- cast Ultima
- cast Tom
- cast Magyck Myssile
- get the hell outta here
- enter shadow
- explode with the energy of a thousand suns
- win game
- let the dogs out
- get eaten by Domo-kun
- attempt to pronounce "xyzzy"
- say it again
- plugh
- go north, north, south, south, west, east, west, east, B, A, start
- remove cockroaches from mouth
- rm -rf *
- close this window
- vandalize the page
- Grawp vandalize
- recurse
- dial "666-666-6666" on the phone booth
- see my vest
- decline Latin verbs
- swear very loudly
- push buttons, push buttons like you just don't care
- Oscar Wilde on Pick Up the Phone Booth and Aisle
- become a professional screenwriter
- How do I stop the Grue from eating me?
- AAAAAAAAA!
- Leave aisle
- Buy pasta
- open PUTPBAA version 2.0
- do something
- play RuneScape
- breakdance
- look at pants
- look in pants
- Do absolutely nothing
- change clothes
- Ask the brunette out to a date in Atlantis.
- opt for the fetal position
- Huff kittens
- Pinch the brunette's buttocks
- Flip the buggy over and crawl under it and ask the lady for a bottle of sauce so that you can survive for another day
- learn to speak every single language known to man (and several known to monkeys!)
- spontaneously combust
- Try to fight a Grue, and lose badly
- Leave this site and watch YouTube videos
- Play Zork, causing an epic win
- die
- come to a horrible existential realization
*Secret option!
Super-secret option!
Double super-secret option!