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UnGames:Pick Up the Phone Booth and Aisle/realize

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You go into the next aisle and pick up a can of beans. Unfortunately, you accidentally slit your wrist on an open can there.

*** You di--

But wait... You suddenly see that you aren't dead, and that everything is how it was a minute before you slit your wrist. Your wrist is suddenly healed. You look around the aisle. The aisle stretches to the north, and back to the south. The shelves on either side of you block your view of the rest of the supermarket, with only the brightly colored aisle markers visible. You and your trolley are next to the pasta section, bright plastic bags full of pale skin-tone shapes. There is a brunette woman a few meters ahead, filling her trolley with sauces.

A shiny metal phone booth sits in the center of the aisle.

You consider this for a second. Did you merely imagine the fatal accident? Were you having a flashback from your teenage years in the sixties as a recreational drug user? Was your lack of sleep and stress from your overbearing boss and demanding wife finally getting to you?

You think for a moment. To you, it feels like this has already happened to you, only in different ways. For example, you remember breaking the laws of physics by lifting up the aisle you were standing in, and then dying from the illogicity of it all. You can also faintly recall traveling through time twice (and dying, spontaneously combusting, being beaten up by the Baha Men, and many other events that just simply seem unnatural. All this stemming from this one aisle you remember, and yet it feels like time hasn't even progressed. The phone booth even looks faintly familiar, but you know you've never seen it before... or HAVE you?

Upon closer introspection, you find that it seems you've been in this aisle for nearly thirteen hours. Granted, six of those hours were possibly spent contemplating this thought, but it still seems illogical. You see that no one in the aisle has really moved much.

Suddenly, you see a computer inside the phone booth, where the phone portion would normally be. Upon closer inspection, you see on the screen that everything that just happened to you in the past five minutes is on the screen. You click through some of the links on the site, and all that you have had deja vu about now is there. You look at the URL.

You suddenly have come to a horrible realization: that you are merely a character in an inane Choose Your own Adventure-styled Uncyclopedia story, and no matter what happens to you, you will inevitably and infinitely respawn in the same spot in this aisle! Sickened with this horrible new feeling, you decide to kill yourself, but then quickly realize that it wouldn't matter, you'd just reappear in the same place again.

And again.

And again.

For ALL eternity.

And you would never be able to stop it.

Sickened with even more grief, you just sit there in the phone booth sobbing for the rest of your life, living your pathetic life in sorrow for what cannot and will not ever be.

*** You die of starvation within a couple of weeks. You remember nothing when you respawn. Late Thursday night. You've had a hard day and the last thing you need is this: shopping. Luckily, the place is pretty empty and you're progressing rapidly... ***


But wait...

You feel a tremendous wrench – the hand of God coming down to wipe clean the temporal chalkboard. The world dissolves, and then quickly floods back into existence, restoring its state as it was before you made your move.

But somehow, things aren't set up exactly the same as last time....

Late Thursday night. You've had a hard day and the last thing you need is this: shopping. Luckily, the place is pretty empty and you're progressing rapidly.

On to the next aisle.

The aisle stretches to the north, and back to the south. The shelves on either side of you block your view of the rest of the supermarket, with only the brightly colored aisle markers visible.

You have stopped your trolley next to the pasta section, bright plastic bags full of pale skin-tone shapes.

There is a brunette woman a few meters ahead, filling her trolley with sauces.

A shiny metal phone booth sits in the center of the aisle.


Your move:

*Secret option!
Super-secret option!
Double super-secret option!

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