UnGames:Pick Up the Phone Booth and Aisle/cockroaches
Parts of this page were originally sporked from Dinosaur Comics.
For most of your life, you lacked a purpose - a goal. You wandered aimlessly, staying alive but never actually living.
But then, suddenly, in the middle of this aisle, right next to the telephone booth, a divine revelation struck. The mist in your head has finally parted, and a glorious light - a certain, wondrous knowledge - has flooded in. The haze of uncertainties and petty concerns melts away, revealing three great and unshakeable truths, and the mission that your entire life has been leading up to.
Your mouth is full of cockroaches.
Many of them are dead, but those that aren't are throwing up on you, and on each other.
And you must remove them as quickly and as discreetly as possible.
So, releasing your grip on the shopping cart, you exert your tongue and throat muscles, and in a single joyous, ecstastic moment you propel the disgusting mass of cockroaches down your throat, and out of your mouth. And, for the first time in your entire life, you finally know true happiness.
You feel so powerful after picking up that mysterious phone booth and the bottom of the aisle with it. The woman loves you now, your wallet is suddenly filled with cash, and your acne has cleared up forever!
That's right:
- *** You have won ***
Oh no! It turns out that was just some aliens playing a trick on you from their flying saucer!
Whilst your rosy sense of achievement has distracted you, they have taken the opportunity to quickly suck out your gastric juices with a telescopic bendy straw! In other words, you just lost The Game.
Late Thursday night. You've had a hard day and the last thing you need is this: shopping. Luckily, the place is pretty empty and you're progressing rapidly.
On to the next aisle.
The aisle stretches to the north, and back to the south. The shelves on either side of you block your view of the rest of the supermarket, with only the brightly colored aisle markers visible.
You have stopped your trolley next to the pasta section, bright plastic bags full of pale skin-tone shapes.
There is a brunette woman a few meters ahead, filling her trolley with sauces.
A shiny metal phone booth sits in the center of the aisle.
Your move:
- Pick up phone booth
- Pick up aisle
- Pick up phone booth and aisle
- Pick up THE phone booth and aisle
- Use the phone booth
- Examine phone booth
- Examine aisle
- Examine me
- Examine woman
- talk to woman
- talk to me
- talk to phone booth
- sing
- inventory
- go to the magazine aisle
- look north
- look south
- look east
- look west
- look left
- look right
- look up
- look down
- look out
- look away
- go north
- go south
- go east
- go west
- go left
- go right
- go forward
- go backward
- jump
- jump back
- fly up
- tunnel down
- travel to past
- travel to present
- travel to future
- undo
- redo
- wait
- fall asleep
- wake up
- eat food
- eat the phone booth
- push booth
- fill booth
- draw booth
- dig around booth
- dig booth
- your mom
- pinch me
- cast Frotz
- cast Meteo
- cast Ultima
- cast Tom
- cast Magyck Myssile
- get the hell outta here
- enter shadow
- explode with the energy of a thousand suns
- win game
- let the dogs out
- get eaten by Domo-kun
- attempt to pronounce "xyzzy"
- say it again
- plugh
- go north, north, south, south, west, east, west, east, B, A, start
- remove cockroaches from mouth
- rm -rf *
- close this window
- vandalize the page
- Grawp vandalize
- recurse
- dial "666-666-6666" on the phone booth
- see my vest
- decline Latin verbs
- swear very loudly
- push buttons, push buttons like you just don't care
- Oscar Wilde on Pick Up the Phone Booth and Aisle
- become a professional screenwriter
- How do I stop the Grue from eating me?
- AAAAAAAAA!
- Leave aisle
- Buy pasta
- open PUTPBAA version 2.0
- do something
- play RuneScape
- breakdance
- look at pants
- look in pants
- Do absolutely nothing
- change clothes
- Ask the brunette out to a date in Atlantis.
- opt for the fetal position
- Huff kittens
- Pinch the brunette's buttocks
- pwn grue
- Flip the buggy over and crawl under it and ask the lady for a bottle of sauce so that you can survive for another day
- learn to speak every single language known to man (and several known to monkeys!)
- spontaneously combust
- Try to fight a Grue, and lose badly
- Leave this site and watch YouTube videos
- Play Zork, causing an epic win
- die
- come to a horrible existential realization
*Secret option!
Super-secret option!
Double super-secret option!