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UnGames:Pick Up the Phone Booth and Aisle/youstinkatsinging

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You take out a dust-buster and put on your grandfather's hat. You start dancing like a chimney sweep and singing "Chim Chim Cherrie".

"Yo, dawg, I wasn't feelin' it!" Randy Jackson, who seemed to pop out of nowhere, says. Then, Simon Cowell comes out of the phone booth and, reading from a piece of paper, says, "That was horrendous! Go back to cleaning rooftops!" Then Paula Abdul, popping out of a can of beans, says, "I like your shoes!"

The three sit down at a judge's table. You suddenly realize that you are on the American Idol stage at the Kodak theatre. You remember that you auditioned years ago, and though you are a horrible, tone-deaf singer, the public voted you through anyway. You then realize that your singing really DOES reek. Daddy wasn't lying to you when he said that. You begin to cry, and you realize only then that you are only wearing your underwear and shoes. The audience laughs at you and mocks you. You curl up into a fetal position and weep.

You feel so powerful after picking up that mysterious phone booth and the bottom of the aisle with it. The woman loves you now, your wallet is suddenly filled with cash, and your acne has cleared up forever!

That's right:

*** You have won ***








































Oh no! It turns out that was just some aliens playing a trick on you from their flying saucer!

Whilst your rosy sense of achievement has distracted you, they have taken the opportunity to quickly suck out your gastric juices with a telescopic bendy straw! In other words, you just lost The Game.

Late Thursday night. You've had a hard day and the last thing you need is this: shopping. Luckily, the place is pretty empty and you're progressing rapidly.

On to the next aisle.

The aisle stretches to the north, and back to the south. The shelves on either side of you block your view of the rest of the supermarket, with only the brightly colored aisle markers visible.

You have stopped your trolley next to the pasta section, bright plastic bags full of pale skin-tone shapes.

There is a brunette woman a few meters ahead, filling her trolley with sauces.

A shiny metal phone booth sits in the center of the aisle.


Your move:

*Secret option!
Super-secret option!
Double super-secret option!