The Makuta
 | JUST CALM DOWN! This page needs to calm the fuck down, now! |
“The Makuta is a Makuta.”
The Makuta, also known as Makuta Teridax, Uncle Teri and Fuckass McAwesome, is a fucking awesome guy. He is known for being the main villain in a toy line made by some fat hairy guy. He is the leader of Makuta and the KKK. He is awesome, something that is an amazing feat for a Bionicle character. He became popular after he drugged the ignorant-ass robot-god named Matt Newbie (Mata Nui); Matt was also his distant cousin and they treated each other like Bro's way back when. Another trait of his is the fact that he lets his minions do all his dirty work while he sits on his lazy ass playing WoW. He currently is on his way to Iraq, because he wants to kill that guy he stoned. Teridax was later killed by his Bro, and is now residing in a classy, ash-filled apartment in Hell.
| Geisenheim Files | ||||||||||||||
| Teridax | ||||||||||||||
|
Early Life[edit | edit source]
“Hello? Am I to spend the day wallowing in my own verdant fesces? Someone change me?”
The origins of the malevolent Dark Lord Teridax are shrouded in mystery. At first it was rumoured that he was the evil brother of the godlike being, Mata Nui and his name was Makuta but then Lego realised that that was vaguely religious sounding and so made Mata Nui an imnipotent deity and Teridax the powerful being who defies him which really isn't religious at all. They also changed his name to Teridax and made Makuta the name of his species. The Makuta are a race of green, spirit-thingies wth badass, spiky, gothic armour. Teridax was born to a wealthy family of Makutas and exhibited considerable intelligence at a young age. He was also a creative child, frequently dismembering dolls (as well as the odd person), maiming small Rahi and biting the heads off his teddy bears. He was sent to a prestigious school but was bullied as a result of his speech impediment which caused him to speak as though saying an entire sentence quickly would completely destroy him. Being bullied caused the poor boy to develop something of an emo personality as well as an ego so huge it would make Jeremy Clarkson, William Shatner, Vegeta and Tony Blair look fairly modest by comparison.
The Brotherhood[edit | edit source]
Teridax got a job with the Brotherhood of Makuta. His job was to create animals that would terrorize the inhabitants of the matoran universe for centuries. Mata Nui didn't care thought, he was too busy going to planets filled with hot girls and having "fun". He later became the lieutenant of Miserix, the leader of the Brotherhood, by doing absolutely nothing. A group of warlords began to take over the world, yet another event Mata Nui paid no attention to. Teridax organized a group of stereotypical heroes, Exo-Force robots, animals, and his children, the Rahkshi. Just as he was about to kick their ass G-Man came and took them away. After this event, the look on Pridak's face haunted him in a strange, almost homosexual manner. He also began to consider overthrowing Mata Nui. This idea was fueled by endless nights of listening to Slipknot songs. Teridax realized that the Makuta could do more than take shit from the great spirit. He overthrew Miserix and became the leader of the Brotherhood of Makuta.
Leading the Brotherhood[edit | edit source]
Teridax became famous after becoming the leader of the Brotherhood. After all the Makuta dissolved into green shit, Teridax had the Ninja Ghosts outfit them with stronger skin.The Ninjas made the Makuta's skin out of the remains of Chuck Norris' dead skin. Teridax became a celebrity when he met with Stalin to discuss the art of killing your own people, and being an evil dictator. He helped Stalin create nukes by giving him the ingredients to make energized protodermis. Their friendship ended when Adolf Hitler declared war on Russia. Because Teridax supported the Nazis, Stalin tried and failed to send him to the gulag. Teridax moved to Germany, and became a top ranking Nazi. This gave him the chance to meet some of the most evil people on Earth, such as Satan, Adolf Hitler, Mr. Rogers, Cthulhu, Sauron, Saruman, Palpatine, Dick Cheney, Rupert Murdoch, and George Bush. Together they did lots of evil shit, such as taking over Europe, making McDonald's, creating 4chan, and assassinating Hitler. Hitler did not really kill himself, Teridax killed him because he told him that Kopaka is cooler than he is. Teridax hired a group of Ninja assassins, who killed Hitler in his sleep. After this, Teridax knew that it was time to begin his evil plan.
The Plan[edit | edit source]
Teridax invited Mata Nui to a party with his evil friends. When Mata Nui arrived, Teridax gave him a glass of Vodka mixed with drugs. This made Mata Nui fall into an endless sleep. Teridax went to Metru Nui, and drugged the local matoran. He placed them in pods, hoping that when the woke, they would not remember anything. Mr. Rogers would educate them to worship evil and be Teridax's minion. Unfortunately, Teridax was imprisoned by the Power Rangers. He would later be freed by the red Power Ranger. After this, Teridax terrorized the matoran, who moved to the island of Mata Nui (Not the drugged guy). Eventually, a new group of Power Rangers came; Teridax made several evil plans to stop them, but they all failed. Suddenly, the Power Ranger of Light, Chuck Norris, came and killed him with a door. Yes, he really killed him with a door.
After graduating from Satan's School of Hell, Satan granted Teridax a second life. Teridax went to the land of Narnia, where he took on the form of crack. He got the Piraka, a group of gangstaz to help him. He also got Brutaka to work for him by making him a crack head. The Power Rangers came yet again to beat his ass. They succeeded, and Leonidas, after fighting Brutaka yelled "THIS. IS. AN OVERUSED MEME!" and destroyed Teridax's new form. Teridax retreated to the lost city of Atlantis, in search of the MacGuffin of Life. He possessed The Terminator, the guardian of a nearby prison called "Nova Prospekt", and pretended to be the servant of Vin Diesel, the jailer of the prison. He captured Matoro, the white Power Ranger, and tried to make him join the dark side. He refused, and sacrificed himself to save Mata Nui from dying as a result of the drugs in his system. Teridax's evil plan was almost complete.
Teridax took control of Mata Nui's crack addled mind. Another group of Power Rangers came, who were sent to kill him. Teridax used his mental powers to make the Rangers prance about happily, ignorant of what was going on around them. He enslaved the Power Ranger Helryx, and made her his personal bitch. The Power Rangers awakened Mata Nui's body, giving Teridax the chance he needed to take over Mata Nui. He exiled Mata Nui to the barren desert planet, Iraq.
Ruling the Universe[edit | edit source]
Teridax had successfully taken control over the matoran universe. He used his children, the Rahkshi, to enforce the law. He sent his forces of evil on a destructive rampage, they destroyed anyone who resisted Teridax, or anyone Teridax did not like. These beings would later be known as the "KKK". He liked to slaughtered Onu Matoran because they were black, and kill Po Matoran because they were Muslim. Over time, Teridax began to get bored with killing his own people, so he decided to go to Iraq to kill Mata Nui. When he arrived, he discovered that Mata Nui had united the Middle East together. The Jews and Muslims no longer hated each other, so they instead tried to nuke Teridax. They succeeded, and Mata Nui controlled the Matoran Universe again. While in Hell, Teridax still influenced society, by doing evil deeds. His most well know deed was creating the H1N1 virus.
Personal Life[edit | edit source]
Though Teridax is not married, it is believed that he had many sexual relationships. Teridax was a probably a sexual addict, because he had many children called "Rahkshi". The only female he spent time with was a Makuta called Gorast, but she was a lesbian hooker. Many great men "questioned" as many woman as they could, asking them if they were the mother. Oscar Wilde was one of these men. He did many women, and picked out the one that most resembles a Rahkshi. This woman is Your Mom.
Teridax had many hobbies. He enjoyed capturing Pokemon, it is believed that he has managed to capture over 9000 of them in his lifetime. Despite being a fan of Death Metal, he also enjoyed classical music, especially if it is done on the piano. He is considered one of Mozart's greatest fans.