Talk:David Cameron

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This is the talk page for discussing improvements to David Cameron.
This is not a forum for general discussion about what you did last night. We have the Village Dump for things like that.
For a listing of unused images related to this topic, please see the image subpage.

Article policies

REPORTER: Mr Cameron; is it true that you only say what you think people want you to say?

DAVE: Yes, I am a complete fraud! That is what you think isnt it. If not well I guess I'm no...

REPORTER: Mr Cameron; please, is that all true?

DAVE: Yes, if thats what you want?

REPORTER: And are you really basing all or your policies on what Tony Blair is saying?

DAVE: Policies? Sorry I don't follow.

Isn't he the Canadian movie director/producer?

Blaming David Cameron[edit]

Since David Cameron has taken over as Supreme Arsehole of Britain he has aslo taken over the responsibility from Gordon Brown of being balmed for every problem that comes about for the British public, and lets be honest, most of it is his fault and will be even more in the next few years as he rapes funding from people and organisations that need it. he will become the hate figure for the public, like Bin Laden is to the Americans. This is when Magaret Thatcher will rise up again and start her empire as prophecised by Graham Norton whilst looking into the hair of Boris Johnson

(moved here rather than binning it for the one decent phrase in it... Myocardialinfarction 00:08, August 2, 2010 (UTC))

The quotes[edit]

None of them are really funny. Maybe the 'alpha and omega' quote in the middle of some funny stuff, but as is it's a bit crap. I've moved them here until someone thinks they're funny.

“He is a bigot. ”

~ Ex-Prime Minister Gordon Brown on David Cameron

“He always enjoyed a good 'scrum-up' in the showers!”

~ Boris Johnson on David Cameron

“Thus said The Lord, 'I am the Alpha and the Omega, the First and the Last, the Beginning and the End.'”

~ The Bible on David Cameron

“David and i had a jolly good rumpus at University! What ho! Fore!!”

~ Oscar Wilde on David Cameron

“Whats that I smell?... Bad policies?”

~ Nick Griffin on David Cameron

“I wish him every leading the country down the WRONG path (much in the same way as myself)”

~ Gordon Brown on David Cameron


1) Please create an account and sign your edits. 2) This is a public article and not your playpen. Until you've thought about it a couple of times, waited, read it back to yourself and Saw That It Was Good (preferably twice) please copy the article and edit it under your user page. 3) I'm not necessarily commenting on your actual edits. Sorry if I'm causing offence, but that's the way it is. Myocardialinfarction 21:05, August 4, 2010 (UTC)

Perhaps you'd care to explain to me exactly what I've done wrong instead of just talking down to me. I have not used this article as a playpen, I have attempted to transform it from a petulant and childish diatribute into a biting satire. Personally I think you feel a little put out because someone apart from you is deciding to give articles on politics due care and attention whilst actually doing a better job of it than you are yourself. -- 01:12, August 5, 2010 (UTC)
Sorry if I seemed to be talking down to you: not my intention at all. I'm just worried that we're not getting towards biting satire, but just muddling around in different varieties of the (aptly put) petulant and childish. While we are being petulant and childish, though, I don't like the term 'Emperor' in and of itself as satirical, unless there's more of a Napoloeonic context, which I don't think Cameron has. My take on him is that he's still a PR Guy for the worst ITV franchise in existence, and I personally like the idea of sneaking in petulant snipey jokes (provided they're funny) into the 'middle name' bits of public figures. I do still think you should create an account though. You're funny and intelligent enough to deserve one. Myocardialinfarction 07:06, August 5, 2010 (UTC)
You're more than kind. Sorry for being snappy. Personally I was trying to depict Cameron as a kind of Antichrist figure which was why I put various references to Palpatine into the article (hence my addition of "Emperor") as well as allusions to Nicolae Carpathia from the Left Behind series, hence the description of him as a product of genetic engineering and artifical insemination. If you look at the Wikipedia article on Carpathia, you will see some rather amusing similarities between himself and Cameron. I may take you up on your recommendation to register an account. :) -- 12:48, August 5, 2010 (UTC)
Y'know, your mention of Palpatine makes me really tempted to put an 'Episode I' joke into his name, since it seems rather appropriate. In fact, fuck it. I'm going to do it now. Please remove if it isn't funny. Myocardialinfarction 16:45, August 10, 2010 (UTC)

Keeping a Watch on this one[edit]

I can see this is becoming a vandal magnet. It is also full of pretty standard rubbish Star Wars stuff (don't you kids ever watch or read anything else???). --Laurels.gifRomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 09:48, November 12, 2010 (UTC)

I will work on this later.--Laurels.gifRomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 09:54, November 12, 2010 (UTC)
I think of it as more of a vandal repository, like a jar of sugary water you use to distract wasps from your picnic. As long as they leave my article alone, I'm happy. -- 15Mickey20 (talk to Mickey)  13:21, November 12, 2010 (UTC)
I think of Uncyclopedia as being rather like Wikipedia. Anything the despicable animals in charge don't particularly like just gets dismissed as vandalism rather than one individual person trying to actually contribute. -- 00:49, March 2, 2012 (UTC)
Took my eye off on this one. It's a bit of a rantorama right now. --Laurels.gifRomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 14:34, August 6, 2012 (UTC)