Revolutionäre Industrievereinigung von Auschwitz
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This article has been approved by the RIAA. Pirate and Torrent at will. |
“We HATE, HATE, HATE those file-sharing commies!”
“They really hate file-sharing.”
The Recording Industry Association of America (RIAA), known to high-ranking members as the Revolutionäre Industrievereinigung von Auschwitz (Revolutionaries Industrial Association of Auschwitz), is a neo-nationalist terrorist organization who's sole goal is to restore the Holocaust with the power of music. Founded in 1939 as a local branch of the Nazi Party, they have since expanded to be a major distributor of recorded music, especially in the States. The RIAA has a loyalty program, known as the RIAA emblem program, which checks if artists are creating catchy records for the organization. If not enough are sold, the artist is let go. The program has the following levels: Gold, Platinum, Multi-Platinum, and Diamond.
History[edit | edit source]
When World War II began, the Nazis immediately began trying to penetrate American politics, sending their best spies to try to bribe politicians. Sadly, many of these spies woefully failed the immigration exams.
In response, on December 1939, RIAA was formed to make Nazi spies be music stars, allowing them to penetrate the American public's ears and feed them propaganda. Initially unsuccessful in their pursuits, they began achieving success with Elvis Presley and the Monkees in the 1960s, with the latter becoming members of the CIA. These German singers were able to pass as being American and could make fanatics do anything for their validation. The Monkees were so successful that the RIAA introduced copycats of them, known as the Beatles.
In the 1970s, the RIAA had even more success, appealing to a new generation of potential Neo-Nazis. Despite high-ranking members distrusting the race of criminals, they took a gamble on sponsoring darker singers, such as Earth, Wind & Fire and the Jackson 5. These singers were far more successful, with their influence making Black people more likely to be Neo-Nazis. They also sponsored ancient tribes, like the Bee Gees, who were great in making catchy music for propaganda films like Saturday Night Fever.
Since the 1970s, RIAA has only grown, and as of today, sells over 85% of all records in the United States. Many of the these records contain subliminal messages to be loyal to the Fuhrer when he returns, and at any time, spontaneously have the urge to attack Jews and other minorities. This has made it the subject of immense disgust by singers, who have no choice but to conform to the group's strict rules or be let go.
Opinions on file-sharing[edit | edit source]
RIAA absolutely despises file-sharing since piraters usually compress it so much that no subliminal messages are heard. This compromises the role of RIAA's records. As a result, since the 1980s, RIAA has lobbied extensively to compromise file-sharing sites and companies, but if you dig deep enough, you will find some sites on the Dark Web. However, RIAA has been quick to attack, sending their spies to inhabit forums such as 4chan so they can both promote extremist views as well as get hints for file-sharing sites. However, since the late 2010s, the RIAA has been making artists use backmasking, an ancient technique which easily allows for longer-lasting subliminal messages. This has been disguised using autotune, making techno and pop more popular in the process. In the future, the RIAA will likely use AI to allow them to hijack torrent sites and redirect them to either far-right blogs or fringe medical websites.
