Raven-Symoné
“She's has two shows which are about her. Isn't that a bit vain?”
“I know where she lives due to my Jell-O trails.”
Raven-Symoné Christina Pearman-Maday, known to Disney fans as Raven, is a lesbian black woman who has been acting since she was a toddler. Born in the somewhat-gangsta streets of middle-class Atlanta, Raven got her first acting break when she auditioned for a Bill Cosby movie. Despite being told that she was way too young for the movie, Cosby liked Raven so much that he let her star in the The Cosby Show. After that, she would get her most popular role in the early 2000s, starring as the main character of a Disney documentary called Raven's Home. She would become far more notable by becoming the first American celebrity since Michael Jackson to not take drugs as a teenager, cementing her place in Hollywood history.
When she began starring in cameos during the early 2010s, Raven realized that she was being stalked by Cosby, who according to her, kept sending her Jell-O laced with sedatives to eat. It got so bad that Raven had to call the cops, who were getting sick of arresting Cosby every few months, and issued a restraining order. After that fiasco, Raven starred in The View, a show about scenic views across America. Nowadays, Raven is an FBI agent, claiming to tell the future of scammers before other agents break into the homes and arrest several scammers in Nigeria. This has been successful due to her authentic Jamaican accent.
Early life[edit | edit source]
Raven was born in September 1985 to Lydia and Christopher Pearman, two former musicians who had operated a drug-smuggling business disguised as an R&B band. When they realized that she could act, skillfully making a police officer ignore a botched shipment of crystal meth with her cuteness when she was only two, they moved to a town near Manhattan a year later, so her parents could get closer to their meth allies while earning money on the side from her acting. It was at this time that Bill Cosby, who had molested ten ladies the prior year, noticed Raven after reviewing the list of declined applicants for his movies. Raven was one of them, and as Bill was a cradle-robber who liked toddlers, Raven would get to star in the Bill Cosby Show when she was only four. Sadly, Bill's plans to molest some of the actors after the cameras stopped rolling were continuously disrupted by local police, who were monitoring him to check if he was indeed a criminal.
Meanwhile, Raven was trying to have a music career, releasing her first album Here's To New Dreams when she was 7. Despite still looking cute, hip-hop rappers would siphon off most of the demand for her songs, and the album only had two sales.[1] She tried to release more music as a B-side to N*SYNC tours, but no one cared at all. As a result, none of the record labels would let Raven even go to an audition, as they were scared she would sabotage them. However, her luck began to change when Eddie Murphy agreed to let Raven star in the movie Dr. Doolittle, making her well-known outside of NBC. Additionally, Cosby was no longer sexually interested in Raven,[2] making Disney more inclined to let her star in some films.
Disney Era[edit | edit source]
In early September 2001, Raven auditioned for the role of Chelsie, a side character in the Disney Channel's upcoming series That's So Raven, which at the time was called Absolutely Psychic. Since Disney was looking for any reason to not be known as the Racist Network,[3] they let Raven star as the main character, renaming it That's So Raven in the process. The series became Disney's first sitcom to use more than one bloody camera in their shots and only ended cause the actors got too. Oddly enough, when she turned eighteen in 2003, she was awarded a presidential medal for being the first teenager in over 25 years to be drug-free during their teens. This was a rare thing in Hollywood at the time, as drug dealers would drug most child actors so that they would sponsor the meth companies to unsuspecting children.
Post-Disney[edit | edit source]
Just like Macaulay Culkin, nowadays, Raven is primarily known due to her cameos, which are mainly in shows who only have Black characters to increase their diversity percentage. However, sometime in 2019, the FBI recruited Raven to be a secret spy, going to places in West Africa and India as a psychic. When she was there, she would befriend the scammers while leaking their location to federal officials. After they raided the base, Raven would move somewhere else, changing her persona and accent to fit that area. As payment, Raven would get her own series, Raven's Home, which is a sequel to the other series. She also starred in The View since she was the only black woman who auditioned for the role at the time.
Notes[edit | edit source]
- ↑ Those were Bill Cosby and Michael Jackson, with the latter making more successful music.
- ↑ There have been many claims as to why, but the most likely theory is that Bill only liked girls younger than 8
- ↑ At the time, Disney executives were looking for free PR as they were getting criticized for only greenlighting shows which had white people as the only main characters.
