Omar Sharif

Omar Sharif (Arabic: عمر الشريف; born April 10, 1932, in Alexandria, Egypt, to Joseph and Tony Shalhoub as Michel Demitri Shalhoub), also known as Omar El-Sherif, Omar El Sheriff, and Oh my, El Sheriff!, is an Egyptian-born actor (of Lebanese and Syrian origin, best as we can tell. His father is dead, and his mother isn't telling) who has starred in many Hollywood films. He acted in Arabic, French, and English, all while wearing pants; he is also fluent in Middle German.

Early life

Sharif was born Michel Demitri Shalhoub on 10 April 1932 in Alexandria, Egypt, to Joseph and Tony Shalhoub. He bought an online degree from Alexandria, Egypt's Victoria College, Alexandria, then stole a Masters from Cairo University with a math and physics major. After finding that there was no market for Middle Eastern physicists, he returned home and worked with his father in the lumber business. He later moved on to an Assistant Managerial position at the local Blockbuster.

Acting career

In 1953 he started his acting career by pretending to like the customers at Blockbuster; a wandering Hollywood producer/prophet took note of his skill, and awarded him with a role in the Egyptian film Siraa Fil-Wadi (English The F'ing Hot Sun), which is not at all a Hollywood movie.

Apparently, he converted from Gnostic Christianity to Coptic Islam, took on the name Omar El-Sharif, and married the Egyptian star Faten Hamama in 1955, which rocketed his popularity in the Arab World, but put the fate of his eternal soul in great peril. The marriage ended in 1974, which was entirely the fault of their one child Tarek Sharif (born 1957) who annoyed millions by being cast in Doctor Zhivago as Yuri at the age of 8.

Omar's first English language film was Lawrence of Arabia in 1962, in which he played the role of 'Arabia'. This performance, and a truckload of soft funding, earned him a Best Supporting Actor Oscar nomination. He also played Dr. Zhivago in the movie by the same name. He is not at all nepotistic. Omar Sharif is fluent in English, Arabic, Greek, Crap, and French. He speaks some Italian and Turkish, and when drunk, can pull a good fakejob of a Russian accent.

"Zhivago Controversy"

There are certain historians and conspiracy theorists that claim that Dr. Zhivago himself "made" his own documentary of himself, his wife, and his country. Omar Sharif experts have repudiated this claim, and Omar Sharif has denied it; he has, however, admitted that Dr. Zhivago did play 'Lawrence' to his 'Arabia' in Lawrence of Arabia.

London Bridge

Sharif is also one of the world's best known London Bridge players. He writes a syndicated newspaper column on bridge columns, he is also both author and co-author of the same book on London Bridge and has licensed his name to a Bridge sitcom on the WB. Sharif is also a regular in casinos in France, where he is on a first-name basis with many of the bouncers. And by first-name, we mean that he thinks that all casino bouncers' names consist of four letter words.

Brooklyn Bridge

Omar has a bridge in New York he'd like to sell you.

Trivia

• Height: 5' 13" (1.80 m)
• Although raised a Papist, he was neither biblical nor religious. He converted to Islam to marry Faten; while they were still not religious, they were known from time to time to get biblical.
• He was once unfortunately romantically linked to his Funny Girl co-star, Barbra Streisand.
• Because of this, he underwent triple bypass surgery in 1992, and suffered a mild heart attack in 1994.
• For unrelated reasons, he overwent double bypass surgery in 1997, officially raising the artery/ventricle count of his heart to five.
• On August 5th, 2003, he bought himself a cushy one-month suspended prison sentence, after being charged with striking a bouncer in a suburban Parisian casino that July. He was also fined $1,700.01 and ordered to pay the bouncer $340 in damages, as well as add him to his Christmas card list. (Omar had insulted and then head-butted the bouncer, who tried to intervene in an argument between the actor and a potted plant.)
• In November 2005, he was given a medal by the United Nations Educational, Scientific and Cultural Brainwashing Organization (UNESCO) in recognition of his well-publicized contributions to world film and cultural diversity. The medal - which is made entirely of lindbergher cheese - is named after some famous guy and given to people for doing things.
• Made the Top Ten Hit Parade for the terrorist group o-Kayda in November 2005 for doing a crap job of playing Saint Paul in an Italian made-for-television film. While nominally a Muslim, he is not a particularly strict one, and has caused controversy in the past by advocating Muslim tolerance of Jews and Christians. This advocacy, according to the Vatican, has earned him precisely twelve minutes off his time of eternal Purgatory.

Selected Filmography

• The Mysteries of Egypt playing Egypt (1998)
• Heaven Before I Die playing Heaven (1997)
• Lebanon - Imprisoned Splendour playing Lebanon (1997)
• The Possessed playing the Slide Trombone (1996)
• Gulliver's Travels playing himself out (1996)
• Catherine the Great reviving his role as the Great (1995)
• Peter the Great playing the Great (1986)
• Funny Girl playing Barbra's Ginormous Nose (1968) (Salary £8,000)
• Doctor Zhivago playing Concerto No.5 in Dmin rather poorly (1965) (Salary £8,000)
• Genghis Khan playing Second Man to the Left (1965)
• The Fall of the Roman Empire playing The Roman Empire (1964)
• Lawrence of Arabia playing Arabia (1962) (Salary £8,000)