Ne-Yo
Shaffer Chimere Smith (born October 18, 1979), better known by his stage name Ne-Yo, is an Asian-American pop and R&B singer–songwriter, record producer, actor, and occasional rapper. He has been fantastically successful for a man with low-level down's syndrome.
Music career[edit | edit source]
Ne-Yo became interested in music after watching Milli Vanilli fail, and he decided to fill the void left by the group. In a tribute to Milli Vanilli, Ne-Yo was going to perform under the guise of Winning Without Honour, but he settled on Ne-Yo, as Winning Without Honour was to hard to pronounce due to his slightly annoying speech impediment. In 2006, he released his debut album In My Own Feces through the independent label "Shit Kickers". It sold over 3 copies in the first week and was certified "Shite", selling nearly 4 copies in America and 6 worldwide. That same day Ne-Yo's, single "So Sick (Of Being Black)" reached number 49 in "The Ne-Yo Top 40 Chart".
Ne-Yo is famous for nothing really, except for the fact that if you have any ammount of Afro American in you, he HAS written a song for you and will write more sometime soon.
His most famous collaboration was with Rihanna during the phase where she was besotted with cheese. He co-wrote and sang on the tracks "Briehab (You're My Favorite Cheese)" and "American Singles Only". He collaborated with Beyonce on her single "Irresponsible" and with Craig David on his song "Shaven Haven". Ne-Yo has also worked with his doppelganger Chris Brown; experts in field of music struggle to differentiate between the two, as they sound exactly the same. (For the complete list of artists worked with, see Collaborations).
Ne-Yo's second album was nothing special and didn't chart. The only noteworthy song was his track "Bein' This Shit Ain't Easy, Nigga". This track was an epic tale of how it's hard growing up black, maintaining his continually bargain basement standards and questionable dress sense, all the while making a fortune from exploiting the terminally stupid. Even this heroic attempt to ruin music for everyone at music didn't get Ne-Yo in the charts.
His third album, titled Because of Jews, released May 2007, was a great success among many older Germans due to its slightly anti-Semitic title, but was a commercial success among non-racists and passive racists alike also. The title track, "Because of Jews" is NOT a racist song, but is in fact a song praising the financial planning skills of the Semitic people. Evidence of this can be found in the line "I can't liiiiiiiive if living is without Jews, I can't liiiiiiiiive, I can't giiiiive anymoooooore!". It was a huge dancefloor hit in Albania.
Ne-Yo's latest and supposedly greatest album, titled Year of the Wanker, was released in 2008. It was on this album that Ne-Yo's horrible linguistic shortcoming made an unfortunate but indisputably hilarious appearance. On the track "Miss Independent", Ne-Yo repeatedly says "Miss Indeeepindee, that's why I Love haaah", and it would seem he says "It's Disco taaaahm miss indeeepindee". Other tracks from the album include "This Things I Believe", "Siobhan" and "I'm Black, I'm Black, I'm Really Really Black".
His most recent works are with Polish dance chart sensation Anastasia, including on her song I Can Feel You (When You Sleep). It's set for release in 2010.
Origins of the Name Ne-Yo[edit | edit source]
He garnered the name Ne-Yo while watching the Matrix, proclaiming "I see Music like Neo sees the matrix! As a series of numbers and tubes!". Hence, he is now referred to as Ne-Yo.
Reckless Driving[edit | edit source]
Contrary to popular belief, this is NOT the title of his 4th album, but some bad driving that he went and done.
Ne-Yo was stopped on Route 401 near the town of Jeremy Paxman doing over 234 mph in his Range Rover, mounting kerbs to kill cats and other things, and shitting out his window.
Punishments for the incident were a fine over Over 9000 Oreos, and he had to perform a gig for the "Victims of Road Traffic Accidents and Cross Stitching club". Members of the club said "The show was fantastic! We have never seen a black man in real life before!". It was hailed as a success.
Filmography[edit | edit source]
Ne-Yo has starred in a few films in his time. None were a success, but he has done acting, and that's all that counts.....
- Black To the Future.
- Blackie Chan.
- Caddyblack.
- Time To die (played the part of Arnold Scwarzanegro)
- Are we there yet? (played a Tree)
- Microsoft the musical (played Steve Ballmer)
TV shows[edit | edit source]
- Ne-Yo presents:Britain's Worst Driver.
- MTV presents: Ne-Yo's Pimp My Wife.
- Celebrity Soup Kitchen.
- Ne-Yo's top 10 Worst Road accidents.
- Ne-Yo loves the 90's.
- Alien v's Ne-Yo.
- Guest slot on R-Kelly Live! on CBS.
- Americas Most Haunted: Hunt for Dan Rather.
- Ne-Yo's Driving school.
- Learn To Drive With Ne-Yo.
- Springwatch: Urban.
- How To Kill Keith Urban.
- Guest on Keith Lemons Celebrity Juice.
- Sing Along With Hitler.
Award Nominations[edit | edit source]
Ne-Yo, by anyone's standard is a successful fellow, and as such, will be nominated for awards. He was. He Lost all the good ones though.
- NME's Gayest Hat of the Year Award: Won
- Rolling Stone magazine: Outstanding Achievement in the Field of Dangerous Driving: Lost to George Michael
- EMA: Best Stripper (Male): Lost to Chris Moyles
- Worst Song of the Decade: Won ("Miss Independent")
- People Magazine's Flattest Face in Music: Won
- Volkswagen's Happiest Non-Homosexual: Unclear
- Rap Music Monthly's Biggest Waste of Time: Won
- Top Gear's Worst Driver: Won
- Least Hair on a Performer's Head: Won