Life is Hell

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search
Bloink1 solid.png

This article has multiple issues.

  • No images - add some pictures to pretty this thing up. Bloody blocks of text...
  • Needs proofreading - fix the spelling, punctuation, grammar, etc of the piece.
    If this page is not fixed in 30 days, it may become a candidate for deletion.

Nutshell.svg

This page in a nutshell: You have a good reason to get rid of your life.

You ever wonder why your parents created you? Yeah, me neither.

The author of this article on his purpose in life

Life is and will always be like hell. It has always been ever since the beginning of time, ever since "The Big Bang." Children, Teenagers, and young adults have to suffer mentally, and physically. They go to a mental asylum, where they torture you eternally with your parent's consent, while they party, get drunk, and cheat on each other with other people.

The Beginning of Life[edit]

Your life begins like any other life. You become a fetus, you wait for 9 months, and then you come out crying, knowing your suffering has only begun. Your parents watch as they know you'll make their first years as a family hell, wanting to put you for adoption. If you're lucky, you could be born with rich parents, you could be born with irresponsible parents, or even better, you could get aborted!

If you're really unlucky, your parents could be poor, they could be strict, they could abuse you, the possibilities are endless!

To prevent suffering this agony, you can go commit suicide!

The first years[edit]

A few years pass by, and you know how to walk and talk. But you can't just go anywhere, you're fed food that who knows how they're made out of. But your parents don't give a single fuck on what that food is, they feed it to you no matter what. You get sent to daycare with other kids you don't know what they do, while your parents get drunk and cheat on each other at the strip club while you're there sucking on your thumb and watching other kids either cry, throw tantrums, or get beaten by their parents.

If you're still sane, you might not be for long.

School[edit]

To refer to what school is, please click either on the top, or click here.

Congratulations, you're 5 years old. Meaning you are now eligible for torture by the devil himself, school. School is one of those places where they brainwash you into propaganda like Math, P.E, Language Arts, History, and last but not least, a class of your choosing.

P.E isn't until you grow older, so be happy your physical self isn't ruined, yet.

Language Arts, the place of mental torture. They show you propaganda on how to communicate with others, and other stuff. I think you get it.

Math is just Mental Abuse. I think you get it.

History is fake news. Don't believe in History.

What's all worse is that you have to go through this for 12, long, years.

Post school time[edit]

You have made it through school. However, you're going to be forced to go to another school, called College, or if you're really that insane, a university.

Depending on the college/university you've chos- I mean, that you were forced to choose, you're going to have to go to that school for some time.

As usual, you get Math, History, P.E (which may or not be done, i dont know), and History.

The school you've ch- I mean, you've been forced to choose, might have things that work differently. If your principal, or whoever runs the school is light, you won't expect that much. ^ 

However, if you've been forced to choose a university, you're officially fucked. Because they don't do that here.

Also, depending on the place you're in, and your insanity, they will teach you other stuff rather than that.

The "time to get a job" time[edit]

Now that you've been forced to get a job, you're actually going to get something out of this, other than fucking time wasted.

If you're really that sane, you're going- I mean, whoever is forcing you to get a job is going to have a hard time trying to find a job for you. Like what the fuck, why have a job in the first place?

Because you're going to die if you don't.

Mentally, and physically.

Retirement[edit]

Yeah, you survived everything, but you have yet to survive retirement, and Hell.

Retirement is just "you're finally free, but you cannot do shit for shit."

You are also old as fuck, and you really can't do anything from there. Am I right?

Death[edit]

Death is Death. It is inevitable.

 ( v · t · e ) 
Actions of Life and Death
LifeDeath.png

Begin » Live » Travel » Be Bored » Sleep » Dream » Awake » Work » Play » Have Fun » Love » Kill » Go to jail » Escape » Procrastinate » Die » Go to the cemetery » End