Later
“I'll do it later!!”
“The word "later" is a blessing to the lazy man.”
Later is the point in time when the majority of tasks in the world will finally be completed. This time is likely to be as far in the future as possible.
Origin of the term[edit | edit source]
The term "later" was invented by a large group of fat, lazy people (many of whom were American) who were sick of being nagged by their wives and mothers to complete chores, find jobs etc. These tasks posed a problem for the fat, lazy people because they required movement. The wives and mothers persistently asked for a time when the fat, lazy people would make any effort towards their requests, so a word was invented by the laziness convention of '52 to mean "some time far, far in the future, but I have not yet decided when exactly and I am likely to forget." Only words of up to two syllables were allowed at the laziness convention, so after moving their mouths in random shapes and making various sounds for some time, the word "lay-tur" was decided on.
Variations of the word[edit | edit source]
Like most words, people began to come up with variations of "Later". "Later'o'clock" was occasionally used by people trying to be funny. Internet geeks and MSN-users invented the term "l4t3rz" to use as part of their strange language. People also began to substitute "Later" for inaccurate lengths of time such as "in a minute!!".
When is Later?[edit | edit source]
Despite the original definition of the word, a group of geeky scientists and long-bearded philosophical types have set about to try and determine when "later" actually is. They have been unsuccessful so far, and some of the geeky scientists have decided that the only way to reach "later" will be to fast-forward the world in some sort of time machine. How this will work exactly, only they know.
What will happen Later?[edit | edit source]
When and if Later is finally reached, the world will suddenly become a much better place. Here are a few examples of events due to take place at this wonderful point in time-
- Thousands of pieces of kids' homework across the globe will be complete
- The U.S. government will start make an effort to combat global warming
- Homes will shine with cleanliness everywhere and people rush to complete their chores
- The population of Earth will seem much more diverse as computer nerds in every town switch off their video games and step, blinking, out into the sunlight
- World leaders will finally review a load of dodgy policies, making their countries better places to live
- Hundreds of lazy fathers will finally find jobs, reducing the number of families in poverty everywhere
- Many people will suddenly seem a lot richer, after they are repaid money they lent out years ago
