Hetalia

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search
Hetalia
Example alt text
The Axis Powers of Hetalia. From left to right: Germany, Japan, Italy.
ヘタリア Axis Powers
(Hetaria Akushisu Pawāzu)
Written by
Published by
Start
Volumes
Date Restricted
Current Status
Hideokaz Kojimaruya
Guido Jesus
June 16, 2006
69
August 3, 2010
Permanent Hiatus
CLASS A RESTRICTED ACCESS. PROCEED ONLY IN ACCORDANCE WITH JAPANESE MANDATE SECTION 5.33.45.
カレンあなたが私を去ったとは信じられない。

Hetalia: Axis Powers (ヘタリア Axis Powers Hetaria Akushisu Pawāzu )is cleverly disguised fascist propaganda created by garbage enthusiast and formal Disneyland employee Hideokaz Kojimaruya. First circulated in the form of a disarmingly charming Japanese webcomic, it later was published as a manga and adapted into an anime. After gaining a profitable cult following, a feature-length film was released, though it was shown only to the most susceptible of children in after-school high school anime clubs. Following an inspection conducted by the Public Security Intelligence Agency of Japan, all copies and reproductions of Hetalia: Axis Powers, as well as affiliated merchandise, were classified as Class A restricted materials and subsequently seized by the Japanese military. Hetalia can now only be viewed and sold if the participants sign the proper consent forms, in which they comply with receiving monthly inspections from local government officials. Anyone living outside Japan who orders Hetalia merchandise or wishes to view the anime online must pay an international criminal prosecution fee in addition to an extremely high shipping and handling tax.

In other words, a hellhole known for its toxic fandom of which is infamous for being inescapable.

Hetalia follows a set of morally reprehensible characters that are shown as sensitive and relatable to purposefully confuse and misguide the audience into sympathizing with militant oppressors and racist regimes. The characters presented are negative stereotypes of existing and pre-existing national divisions of land, personified into flat, two-dimensional human personalities. The main characters in the first arc of the series are the Axis Powers and Allied Forces that engaged during World War II, those countries being Italy, Germany, Japan, France, United Kingdom, United States, Russia, and China. As demonstrated by the title, the protagonists of the story are the Axis Powers, with their internal relations and abominable moral misalignment celebrated as whimsical, relatable, "gotcha" style fun. The title "Hetalia" itself is a portmanteau combining hetare (ヘタレ, Japanese for "buff" or "hardened") and "Italia" (イタリア Itaria, Japanese for "Italy"), further illustrating creator Kojimaruya's undying love for facism and pasta.

Following the initial success of Hetalia: Axis Powers, several new arcs of the story have been written and animated. The subsequent plot of the story all but abandons the previous critical examination of World War II, focusing instead on the irritating and extremely unfunny personification of both historical interactions and present-day stereotypical economic failure of all the countries. New and useless countries such as Canada, Denmark, and Prussia play major roles in these new arcs, which entitled chronologically are Hetalia 2, Hetalia: Tokyo Drift, and Hetalia: Awakening. A single-player action role-playing game is set to release in late 2018 by Bethesda Studios, entitled The Elder Scrolls VI: Hetalia.

Characters[edit | edit source]

In addition to the major eight characters presented in Hetalia: Axis Powers, several other countries and national leaders have been reconstructed and crudely portrayed in the vile media. Historic figures such as Captain Barbossa, Genghis Khan, and Joji are depicted alongside stereotypical representations of other, less important countries such as Switzerland and Spain. Fictional historical characters and buildings are personified as well, such as the buxom Eiffel Tower and the corpulent DJ Khaled.

The following countries are the predominant eight nations of Hetalia.

Axis Powers[edit | edit source]

Italy the Terrifying (恐ろしいイタリア Osoroshī Italia ), usually shortened to just Italy (イタリア Itaria ) is the primary protagonist and the title character, portrayed as militant, broad-shouldered autocrat. He has stereotypically Italian blonde hair, slicked back with the sweat and grease of his tired citizens daily.