Gallifrey
Gallifrey is a planet that is so obscure that for the longest time, it has not had an article dedicated to it within this here treasure trove of information because it too, was and is a time traveler. It is also the ancestral home of the Time Lords.
Notable Time Lords[edit | edit source]
Oh, you thought I was going to actually talk about the planet. Joke's on you, this is actually an article about the Teim Lords.
The time lords were an amazingly superior race who often functioned as alternate-universe versions of whoever their time-travelling counterpart was, and as such could probably be called "Dimension Lords" because they can be.
Sataku Asazugawa[edit | edit source]
This Time Lord is actually the distant gay cousin of another notable time traveler, Sakuta Azusagawa. He crash-landed on Earth at some point in the shorter half of the 20th century (Fox) in a random Japanese farmer couple's backyard and was raised as one of said couple's own children. He has no wife, no girlfriend, and no kids, which is probably all because he's gay.
Golfe Wlick[edit | edit source]
This Time Lord is actually the super-secret alter ego of Wolfe Glick, who is in fact, another notable time traveler. He was last seen in Milwaukee, Wisconsin wearing one of those silly glasses you wear when you're smuggling classified documents and more classified documents across a certain border to an undisclosed location because said classified documents are absolutely necessary for the survival of your species.
Melon Lord[edit | edit source]
This Time Lord is the alternate-universe version of that melon in your fridge and can manipulate all of the four elements because they are the Avatar. As such, Melon Lord will do ANYTHING but actually restoring balance to the world.
Oh, you didn't know that melon in your fridge could time travel? I knew. He knew. She knew. We all knew. It's time you knew too.
Whoever wrote the Bee Movie script[edit | edit source]
This Time Lord is responsible for creating one of the greatest works of literature ever written, even surpassing Shakespeare, and nobody knows his name or whether or not he has any connections to anyone who exists in this universe. It's like they always told me when I was little:
According to all known laws of the universe, there is no way a nonexistent time lord should be able to write a movie script. The time lord's existence is too nonexistent to get its fat little soul off the ground. The nonexistent time lord, of course, writes anyway, because nonexistent time lords don't care what humans think is impossible.
Notable Features of Gallifrey[edit | edit source]
Okay, fine. You win. I'll talk about the planet now.
The Planet[edit | edit source]
The planet is a planet, and it looks like a planet.
It doesn't exist[edit | edit source]
Contrary to popular belief, everything that has been written about Gallifrey and will be written about Gallifrey is a load of nonsense because Gallifrey simply does not exist, and neither does Gallifrey, because you are actually a schizophrenic. Wake up.