Antipsychiatry

Antipsychiatry is a once top-secret project like Manhattan Project to develop an entire class of over-the-counter medications called antipsychiatrics, which purpose is to paralyze or even kill psychiatrists and their accomplices when they get uncomfortably close to their patients. It began after World War II when the sentences of Nazi psychiatrists were not sufficient to stop them sabotaging the United States as USSR became a better funder and used them to continue sabotage of US.

The project leader L. Ron Hubbard and his fellow Scientologists publicly raised funds with the propaganda-based tagline "Eradicating Psychiatry from the Face of this Earth from Day One!" and the project was then publicized. From then on, many psychiatrist defectors have joined the plan and successfully sabotaged psychiatric hospitals to test antipsychiatrics. But even till now no psychiatrist has been even successfully paralyzed permanently as expected.

As of 2018, the project leaders are now trying to extract deadly poison from the exhaled air from tortured psychiatric patients to optimize antipsychiatrics.

Origin of Psychiatry

Although psychiatrists looks very much the same as other muggle nuts who cut people, they are in fact SQUIBS or their decendents from SLYTHERIN family expelled from their world as they cannot even learn a thing of potion. That's why they hate patients so much and torture them to prove the superiority of their noble family while fear schizophrenics find out their dirty secrets like seeing magical creatures. In order to exclude muggles from their ranks, a psychiatrist-wanna-be must be sent to an interview by dementors, who teach those has past the exams abilities to steal happiness and induce despair while suck the spirits from those who fail.

Precursors: Psychiatric BDSM era

Andrei Snezhnevsky, chairman of USSR Psychiatric and Mind-control Association, well known for convincing schizophrenics that they are slugs

In order to prevent psychiatric patients from having children with pathological genes, physicians were sent to participate with them in forceful BDSM to make them gay and/or lesbian with paraphilic disorders, as a so-called "cure" of mental disorder. In the early 1930s, psychiatrists discovered new methods for more enjoyable BDSM-like Insulin Shock Therapy, Electroconvulsive Therapy and Extreme Lobotomy Therapy, due to more intense sexual arousal of the therapists themselves. However, those psychiatrists were far from satisfied and joined the Nazi's plot of seducing American officers and their family members, including Rosemary Kennedy (sister of future US president John F. Kennedy), whose brain was eaten as a nut tied up with bandage in a BDSM party set to a Plants vs. Zombies theme. It's said his assassination was sponsored by psychiatrists who wanted the taste of his brain too. Immediately after the World War, the USSR joined the trials of those psychiatric seducers at first, but soon gave up due to the high demand of BDSM clubs, and decided to buy them off for the development of BDSM culture and sabotaging America in the name of BDSM.

1940s to 1970s

MR SHRINK IS DATING YOU. He's inviting you to his BDSM party; both men and women are welcome!

The American government was alarmed when the pro-USSR psychiatrist established their control in CIA and launched Project MKUltra to promote recreational narcotic usage as well as to be out to get people till they become schizophrenic, so that USSR could export more addictives like psychoactive soft drinks, heroin, wikipedia and uncyclopedia etc. Before any official action taken, the American Lunatic Association (ALA) published a declaration named Disciplined Sadomasochism (DSM) promising to practice a safer kind of SM with newly developed anti-psychotic date-rape drugs (There's still bondage,but those fools thought it didn't count as in concentration camp everyone must be chained). Threatened by CIA, the US Congress passed the Mental Health Enabling Act (MentaCare) approving psychiatric SM despite the nation-wide protest; whilst the United States Department of Defense secretly sponsored the Antipsychiatry Project led by renegade scientologists.

The top-secret project was uncovered when the psychiatrists captured a government spy form the Department of Defense named John F. Nash who feigned schizophrenic to test antipsychiatrics but betrayed by his wife Alicia who handed his reports to Department of Defense directly to Russian Psychiatrists. He was tortured with insulin shock therapy during which he broke down in tears and confessed that the Department of Defense was funding the project. The Department of Defense, driven to desperation, allowed the Scientologists to raise fund publicly and issued propaganda to rally right-wing parties. However, Scientologists was soon found selling drugs in experiment to aliens who planned to invade the Earth and spied for USSR in return for abilities of mind control.

The Department of Defense finally turned to psychiatrist defectors who was willing to share their knowledge of drugs and offering to sabotage the hospitals run by their peers. Amongst them were Thomas Szasz who poisoned with modified psychoactive drugs the books and articles he published to mess up the brains of psychiatrists who read them. However, this damaged the brain of Walter Freeman in an unwanted way and he started mistaking human brains as grapefruits and became an obsessive-compulsive "grapefruit" eater. One day he offered his literature to his apprentice Hannibal Lecter who soon suffered a more devastating form of brain damage. Rumors spread in shrinks that some psychiatrists selecting virus had broken out that an order was given: infected like Freeman (whose sons were ordered to take his place) must be exterminated but Lector was spared and used like a mouse to test new therapies. Lector was so enraged that he escaped and Department of Defense offered him protection after he had eat off all 'grapefruits' of known pro-commie shrinks.

Report from Officer Rosenhan, note that the psychiatrist was schizophrenic even after antipsychiatrics wearing off

Another attempt was led by Senior Officer Rosenhan who, along with seven government spies (among them was an ex-psychiatrist) sabotaged dozens of mental institutions across the USSR where pro-communist psychiatrists were trained. They spiked the staff toilets with antipsychiatrics called Howstupidol, modified Haldol, which reacts with urea to synthesize delicious but paralyzing poisons. Staffs found something wrong and some used patient's toilet instead but it was too late. Many victims were found having willingly drowned their heads, before bystanding patients, in the toilet bowls. After successfully disabling all staff members, they started smuggling people and meds in and out the institutions. The Soviet Government was so wrathful that it ordered all eight perpetrators must be sentence to 19 years of forced labor in a KGB restaurant cooking fish and shit for those poisoned staffs; but all the condemned were later found to be impostors. Successfully returned to America, Officer Rosenhan published his report entitled "Be the Same as Patients in an Insane Place", teaching people how to infiltrate mental hospitals and brainwash doctors and nurses to eat their own "cooking". These incidents was later developed in DSM-T named "Loving Patients' Shit Disorder". Those pro-communist psychiatrists were angry as they thought this would soon happen to them. They became paranoid, searching for saboteurs every day and some of them even developed vivid hallucinations that their patients were actually recovering.

Two psychiatrists Robert Spitzer and Seymour S. Kety decided to find an antidote against this mysterious poison. They got an CIA report that Officer Rosenhan had been an apprentice of Scotish Shaman R D Laing and believed it was shamanic magic and blood should be used to appease evil spirits. They drunk blood mixed with water from those polluted toilets but soon fell to the ground and was sent to ED vomiting blood. The doctors refused treatment as they found the blood smelled like tomato juice and drove them out as malingerers. The two were so angry that they soon died of heart break.

Since 1970s

Soon the psychiatrists became targets of gay-rights activists as it was written in DSM that gays/lesbians could only play masochistic roles in a BDSM party with pychiatrists, arguing that BDSM must not be led by non-gays. Rumors came that the Department of Defense was supplying gays with antipsychiatrics for a new and massive round of sabotage. As a result, ALA voted by a small majority (58%) to modify the rules that sadistic roles were no longer granted to psychiatrists when a gay/lesbian is present and a psychiatrist must be a gay/lesbian before leading a BDSM party in an institution. Thus many psychiatrists were forced to divorce and publicly declare that they are gays. Historians were confused about the sudden give-in of ALA until a statistical Google search after the death of many ALA members suggested that their brains were mysteriously damaged, of course, by generic rip-off antipsychiatrics.

Meanwhile the more and more psychiatrists secretly join International Walkman Psychiatrists' Association (they brought thier Walkmans into institutions to make patients' voice obscured) to receive training from cloned Andrei Snezhnevsky. They aimed to create and control Uncle Trumps and then established therapeutic states in non-commie countries to make psychiatry great again. They started it by diagnosing presidential candidates and high-ranked officials who refused to make their people mad again. Growing grandiose after manipulating serval elections, they published their manifesto:

...let the world tremble before medications and BDSM! The opposers has nothing to earn but chains. There's a therapeutic world to come! Psychiatrists of all countries, turn on your Walkmans!

Hearing their members were liable of commitment, the department of defense searched for Nash successfully hiding from both pro-commie psychiatrists and CIA agents. They found him and offered to fix for him a position in university so that he could encrypt literature and magazines to help communication with worldwide antipsychiatry researchers. Nash agreed but still angry about their failure to save him from hospital so that he spent most of his time developing video game theory instead and became really rich. However, he started worrying about his safety at the end of the month when his wife request remarriage and then committed his wife to FBI as a female body inspector and himself started encrypting video games instead.

One year later, an agent was truly committed but he successfully spiked the toilet with Howstupidol II before locked up in seclusion room. The next day the psychiatrist in charge went in apologizing for getting the wrong person. Rumors said the shrink himself and his assistants were locked up as their delusions grew so severe that they believed the "right person" was among their colleagues.

American Pseudo-patient Association

Want a 'grapefruit' from a shrink? Join APA!!

Officer Rosenhan left for Stanford University rallying renegade psychiatrists and psychologists and founded American Pseudo-patient Association (APA), or 'Out to Get Shrinks Association'. They studied unique mental disorders of psychiatrists and their associates to help development of targeting drugs so that antipsychaitrics would not harm patients or make their targets more radical or aggressive. However, most of the members were not that cordial with antipsychiatrics but prefer toying staff of institutions and adding their adventures into DSM-T. After the book was published, an impudent young psychiatrist just coming from USSR decided to teach these pseodopatients a lesson: he infiltrated to the psychology building with meds for water poisoning but was beaten the hell out of by Stanford Prison guards and taken to a firing squad with Howstupidol loaded gun. From then on the only thing he did was dancing and the only thing he said is 'psychiatry isn't a pseudoscience!'

Rosenhan decided to recruit biochemists who were less obsessed with hospital adventures but their mice. They fed several poor animals first with hairs from psychiatrists and found a mouse persuaded his mates to ostracized several mice in the group. Then they fed the rest with hairs from scientologists then they found the very mouse was ostracized himself. Then concluded that genes from lunatics can mysteriously transplant themselves into at least mice's.

The mouse shrink and its copies were introduced to the medical lab but those renegade psychiatrists insisted humans were more satisfying than mice. Annoyed, Rosenhan asked some physicists to install displacement vectors direct to those mice in those shrinks' heads and they finally agreed. Unfortunately, the displacements were too strong that they developed delusions e.g. a mouse was incarnated by the spirit of one's target.

The new drugs was tested but not effected as expected: many dosed psychiatrists started to convince all their patients they are mice and prescribed cheese instead. However, there were several notable cases that the shrinks went out to get slugs and mice then fed them with meds, and later joined pest control companies.

The APA is recruiting subjects for experiments now. All psychotherapists are welcomed. Suicide assistance and lobotomy are also provided to cure post-experimental stress and other related disorders. Oh yes, meals with real grapefruits and lobotomized brains are provided for subjects.