User:ENeGMA/UnNews

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search

From the Chief  Audio  Podcast  Goldstein Award  Foolitzer Prize  Ask Cthulhu  Ask Hal 9000  Tech Support

Contribute to UnOpinionated
Pretend like your voice matters.
                                                                                                                                                       
UnOpinionated Main Page
Lead Article #1
Lead Article #2


The cover of Sarah Palin's newest book, Going Rouge, which garnered positive feedback for its use of complete sentences and proper grammar.

Sarah Palin: 'Going Rouge' Hits Stores; Hints to Maverick Party

ANCHORAGE, Alaska -- Sarah Palin begins her whirlwind tour of her newest book, fittingly titled Going Rouge. Sources tell that it was originally going to be called Story of an Average Maverick Hockey-Mom, but Palin refuted that title, calling it "anti-un-Americana."
» Full story



Latest news reports:

Refresh to see the latest news! If you find a broken, true, or rubbish article, fix it!




19 April



Archives: April 2024 | Older Indigestions




Got something to say? Request an interview with the UnNews community

Got news and no computer? Call the UnNews Hotline

Holy Bannaphone, Batman!
+1-900-867-5309 (toll-free* in the U.S. only, ask for Jenny [*may not actually be free])
+1-234-567-8910 (outside the U.S. - long distance)
+44-(0)7758-913637 (U.K. / Europe) real number!
If you have news, and a computer, and can't figure out how to work this page, try Clicking Here

Departments

Customer "service"


Write a new UnNews story:
Type your desired headline and then click on the button.


An artist's impression of the "Ground Zero Heads on Spikes" project.

Tea Party supporters oppose plans to display severed heads of 9/11 victims at Ground Zero

GROUND ZERO, New York City -- Supporters of the Tea Party movement have demonstrated in opposition to plans to "display the severed heads of 9/11 victims on spikes at Ground Zero." Supporters of the proposal, however, accuse opponents of being "misleading" and "hysterical."
» Full story



This trailer-based sign is the latest peaceful outreach of the Dove World Friendship Center.

US briefly takes lead in war of religious insults

(Gnome-speakernotes.png listen) GAINESVILLE, Florida -- The United States briefly jumped ahead in the months-long battle between Muslims and Christians to give the other side gratuitous offense when Pastor Terry Jones designated next Saturday as the first "Burn a Koran Day."
» Full story



Radiomicrophone.png

Stories with Audio


UnFunnies for April 24

Satan Bunny and Fish Head02.png

This Week's Horoscopes

NOW UPDATED FOR APRIL 23 - 30

If you really must know...


Headlines (Add)

Flapjack.png

Click a headline to make a story!


On This Day

April 24, 2023


April 24, 2022

UnWeather operates automatically by going out and auto-reading the weather news itself, and its contents are free and open to abuse and buttrape (only by appointment, please).

Rainy.PNG
Wednesday
no chance of
dust

Bolt.PNG
Tuesday
an 87% chance of
haze

Tornado.PNG
Wednesday
a 57% chance of
snow


Suggested Recreation

While there is a 0% chance of hurricanes Thursday, we suggest reviewing your personal hygene.

Global Warming Indicator

Global Warming Indicator


International Posts

Lightning.jpg

Special Weather Report:

A pack of wild hurricanes were reported to be cited with public intoxication and slamming into continents without a license.


UnWeather Station Forecast Stats

There is a 50/50 chance this forecast is wrong because nobody brought the "good stuff" to the office today.

About UnNews

Uncyclomedia
An Uncyclomedia project

We are a group of semi-sentient beings whose mission is to build a website with present, up-to-date, relevant, newsworthy and entertaining content without a shred of truth.

All content is released under a free license. By making our content perpetually available for free redistribution and abuse, we hope to line the birdcages of people everywhere.

UnNews also aims to write stories from a borg point of view.

UnNews needs you! We want to create a diverse community where proles from around the globe can collaborate to report the news lies on a wide variety of events that never happened.

If you would like to write, publish or edit articles, visit the Workspace and read the Introduction to UnNews.


Uncyclopedia is hosted by the Uncyclomedia Foundation, a non-profitable organization that also hosts a range of other projects as well as some foreign language Uncyclopedias and Illogicopedia.


English
Español
Deutsch
Nederlands
Polski
Português
Italiano
Suomi
‪正體中文
한국어
Français
Svenska
Norsk
עברית
简体中文
Magyar
Türkçe
Tagalog


Please help us feed our starving pets.
Uncyclopedia is made possible through contributions from readers like you.

All donations go toward the continuation of Uncyclopedia and its community of volunteer editors. If Uncyclopedia has ever made you laugh then we invite you to donate and help us pay for our expensive server(s). You can make all donations using your PayPal account or debit/credit card here. You can also support your local Uncyclopedia by purchasing merchandise from our merchandise store where 15% of all sales goes toward Uncyclopedia. If you cannot donate but still want to help Uncyclopedia monetarily, you can click some of the ads in our e-store to help us keep the rest of the site ad free.