Main Page

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
(Redirected from HowTo)
Jump to: navigation, search

From today's featured article


BEIJIG, Chia — I a upleasatly surprisig move, Chiese presidet Xi Jipig has aouced that he is baig the 14th letter of the Eglish alphabet -- the oe ibetwee M ad O. Whe asked why i the livig hell ayoe would do such a asiie ad beyod uitelliget thig, Jipig gave us this statemet i respose: "This is Chia. I'm Presidet. I ca do whatever I wat ad there's othig you ca do about it. If you do't like it, the I suggest that you move your scrawy ass to Hog Kog."

This omissio to the Eglish laguage will appear odd ad uitelligible goig forward. The popular ad legedary video game system will ow be kow i Chia as Itedo. PS will ow be kow as the Playstatio, which is't as bad as I iitially imagied. Curiously, Playstatio's paret compay will ow be kow by the much healthier ame of Soy, which is ot too iroic sice Soy is a Japaese compay istead of a Chiese oe. It's eve worse for Paasoic. The Japaese aimatio gere will ow be kow as Aime, which looks like the ame Amy. (Full report...)

In the news

Putin wins 2018 election in stunning upset

Did you know

  • ... that there is no other word for thesaurus?
  • ... that the Kingfisher does not dine exclusively on kings, but also hunts queens, emperors, princes, dukes, viceroys and any other high-ranking members of the nobility?
  • ... that doody played a very important role in the development of quantum physics?
  • ... that Freddie Mercury was banned in some European countries due to his extremely radioactive last name?
  • ... that the sport of Water Polo can be greatly improved with the addition of sharks?
  • ... that paper beats rock, but guns beat everything?
  • ... that Ben Stiller's face makes everything funny?

On this day

March 20: Procrastination Day (extends until tomorrow)

  • 1602 - The Dutch East India company is founded, paving the way for the trade of such goods as sugar, spices, human slaves, and additional sugar.
  • 1815 - After escaping from his exile in Elba using cheese, cocked berets, and other French sterotypes, Napoleon Bonaparte begins his "Hundred Days" Rule.
  • 1833 - Honest Jim starts his career out by selling his grandfather's false teeth back to him at nine times their original value.
  • 1852 - Hariet Beecher Stowe's Uncle Tom's Cabin was published, setting racial equality back for an estimated two hundred years.
  • 1874 - Oscar Wilde does something noteworthy, then writes a scathingly witty entry in his diary about it later that night.
  • 1883 - Eleven counties signed the Paris Convention for the Protection of Industrial Property, strictly outlawing the trade of ideas, dreams, and mind-control paraphanelia.
  • 1914 - The first international Figure Skating World Championships take place in Connecticut. The losers maintain their dignity.
  • 1984 - Dungeons & Dragons hits a new high note with the introduction of the Stock Broker playable character set, including Briefcase of Monotony and +2 Ballpoint Pen.

Today's featured picture

Thermopylae was the top selling board game of the 5th Century BCE. Players compete to acquire wealth through stylized politico-economic activity involving the buying, rental, and trading of real estate using play drachma and bartering, whilst gathering groups of Perioikoi and Helots to work your land, as players take turns moving around the board according to the roll of the dice.

Image credit: Mhaille

View image · Nominate new image · View all featured images

Stay connected

Follow Uncyclopedia across social media to stay updated on the latest wiki happenings.

The Uncyclomedia Foundation also hosts a range of sassy sister sites.

Uncyclomedia blue logo notext.svg