4Kids

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search
TV-14.gif This article may not be suitable for all audiences.
This article contains content not suitable for people with the brain of a person under 14 inches (35.5cm) tall or TransVestites.

4Kids (previously "FoxKids" pr. fŭks'kĭds) is the process that destroys Anime by Americanising Americanizing it. The company is what to be controlled by animator Norman Grossfeld, whose partner is a former New Line Cinema staff member/longtime animator named Alfred R. Kahn.

Episodes[edit | edit source]

All 4kids shows use the same episodes, as shown below.

  1. One of the main characters gets an evil clone. It takes them the whole episode to figure out "Hey, if they're my clone, they must also have my weaknesses!" and beat them in the most obvious way possible.
  2. Ninjas/Aliens/Characters come from 1000 years ago appear for no apparent reason.
  3. Character gets teleported inside a video game and/or a bad guy gets teleported out of a video game.
  4. Another character gets an evil clone
  5. They enter some competition which has something to do with evil bad guys.
  6. Super-episode with evil alien ninja clones of clones of everyone from 1000 years ago inside video game competitions.[1]

Highlight shows of 4Kids[edit | edit source]

Nudity is naughty, so 4Kids ensures cleanliness in its shows by having characters bathing in what appears to be blood, as that's much better.

The following are shows dubbed by the 4Kids actors, removing any remote truth to their original franchises, and adding Americanised Americanized voices for characters. They also make shows aimed at older audiences suitable for toddlers by adding dialog changes.

  • Pokémon - Once dubbed by 4Kids, the show turned out from Japanese-style, high quality animation to a cheap low-quality American show that is completely too American for a Japanese show. This should not be confused with their other show based upon a trading card game, Yu-gi-oh.
  • Viva Pinata - Strictly displaying the gameplay videos for no apparent reason whatsoever. It is constantly the stations best-rated show.
  • Sonic X - The story of Sonic the Hedgehog landing on to the real world from the game world. Due to this, the Sonic franchise income has fallen by 80%. The series fails to even look good. Even in Japanese. It involves complex plots including Fox/Plant relationships, Sonic characters taking up 0.5% of the new world, and police that drive racecars. Sonic puts the "run" in rerun.
  • Baghdad Mew Mew - In which 5 terrorist girls are genetically enhanced so they can fight off the evil Cyniclons. Apparently it was taken off the air shortly after the War on Terror was declared.
  • Yu-Gi-Oh! - dubbed by 4Kids until its bankruptcy and subsequent confiscation by the Japanese after being discovered that billions of money is still unpaid to them for licensing of this anime.

Things 4Kids hates[edit | edit source]

4Kids is a very hateful organisation organization. It has been established through intensive psychological testing that they hate communism, chainsaws, rice balls, automatic firearms, talented voice actors, Jesus, Holy Week, anything having to do with religion, anything to do with Freemasons, babies, meowing, cigarettes, chefs who smoke cigarettes, well-written scripts, the word "shit",[2] kittens, puppies, EVERYTHING THAT IS GOOD FOR HUMANITY, homosexuality, anal sex, bestiality, heterosexuality, anything defined loosely as sexual, anything defined by Bill Clinton as "not sex", sexual innuendo, any grouping of four or more people that does not have at least two white people in, pesons, black clown pirates, joy, laughter, happiness, churros, little guns, very, very, very extreme violence, pingas, anyone whose name sounds even remotely Japanese, open mouths, original voice actors, original good music, you, me, Japan, and especially Hetalia. Plus their mortal sworn enemy, DISNEY.

Generally when they find things that they hate, they do horrible things to them.

Americanisation Americanization of anime[edit | edit source]

Fox has long prided itself on being able to appeal to the broadest possible audience. In order to maintain their high levels of integrity and appeal, they have made some horrible minor amendments to their line up.

Race[edit | edit source]

As the American audience cannot watch any TV show with a black actor or character[3] one of the main changes that needed to be done was to changing any black guy into a white guy. Also to appeal to the differences in language and voice they have given Joey Wheeler and Sanji lousy Brooklyn accents. A simple voice over and Voilà! Bada-bing! You have an American produced show. Also Mr. Popo is now blue.

4Kids ensures that little kids are well aware that real police don't carry guns, but have very threatening pointing skills.

Food[edit | edit source]

Of course the differences in culture also extend to the American diet. As such rice balls are edited to make them look like sandwiches and biscuits crackers. Other changes in the same arena also include turning a cigarette into a lollipop.

Sex and violence[edit | edit source]

Of course we don't want our children to be exposed to sex and violence until they are at least old enough to use a computer, so many violent aspects of the show like people's guns are "cropped" from the final showing. Males become females, and vice versa (although not within the context of the show of course.) And any overly sexual bulge (breasts and groin) become mysteriously invisible. This does have the tendency to make some of the characters look ambiguously camp.

Religion[edit | edit source]

Of course as the American audience is undoubtedly American, and as 95% of all American people are non-denominational Christian, characters are at times sent to "The Shadow Realm", although of course the heroes always do escape. Christmas, of course, does come but once a year, however it is repeated a number of times over that same period.

Closure[edit | edit source]

4kids was closed up after they were sued by Shueisha, TV Tokyo, Konami, NAS, Studio Gallop and Johnny & Associates, over problems regarding the Yu-Gi-Oh! series. Apparently they were mishandling the concept of "sole proprietors" by allowing other companies to make merchandise for them. They have not been active since then and their dubs have been discontinued. Alfred Kahn was believed to have committed suicide by consuming a cyanide-covered rice ball 4 months after the closure.

References[edit | edit source]

  1. These appear to have no relevance to the plot line, but lots of puns.
  2. An extremely ironic inclusion
  3. Unless it also has a voice-over stating "witnesses describe the assailant as African-American."

See also[edit | edit source]