Internet Explorer

THIS ARTICLE A SPLODE.

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Those using Firefox's services may make her more Uncyclopedia friendly if they like.

“Interweb Exploder isn't compatible is NOT compatible with the internet. Unable to connect. Would you like to download an update?”

~ Internet compatibilty on Internet explorer

This article is best viewed on Mozilla Firefox.

You may be looking for shit and not even know it.

Microsoft's ad campaign for IE7.

The average Internet Explorer™ Browsing Experience©

Internet Explorer is a spyware and adware deployment tool developed by Microsoft. It can be used to visit warez and pr0n sites and download spyware and adware, which are microorganisms that live in symbiosis with it. Internet Explorer is not to be confused with Netscape or Firefox or Ninjas that were all popular forms of pr0n viewing before the third coming of the Flying Spagetti Monster which wiped out all companies in the world to be replaced with roving bands of pirates. Everyone hates pr0n but this stupid so called "Internet exploding thing that whoops your ass off" keeps on spreading it.

Typical routine for dial-up users.

Power of Internet Explorer (PIE)

Windows Internet Explorer Genuine Pop-Up Blocker Basic.

Internet Explorer is one (1) of the most powerful browsers for the Internet. One of the most frequent targets of criticism of the browser is this power: it takes longer to load pages and lay them out, due to the unmatched excellence of its Trident rendering engine. This compares to Mao Tsilla and Firefox's Gecko rendering engine, which randomly scatters elements, boxes and images across the page, then punches the user. As an homage to its roots in Spyglass, IE also supports instant installation of spyware without any user intervention, whereas Firefox makes it an unnecessarily complicated process, requiring clicking at least one "OK" box. Most web developers, however, agree that Internet Explorer's greatest power comes from being able to suck infinitely more than any other browser on the market.

How to crash Internet Explorer 6 and earlier

Simply add the following code to any webpage that allows script:
<script>for (x in document.write) { document.write(x);}</script>

Windows Internet Explorer 7

File:IE7 popup test.png

Windows Internet Explorer Genuine Pop-Up Blocker Premium. This purchasable extension is available under the Extensions Tab of the IE7 website.

This is Microsoft's latest parody, which is basically just like the ones before it except it encourages you to upgrade to Windows Vista to use all the features that it copied from Mozilla Firefox.

In truth however, like all Internet browsers, it is based upon the 1600s Medieval French computer program, Exploreur du Faux. Exploreur du Faux was originally designed solely for downloading porn and product activation hacks.

Innovations

An advertisement for Internet Explorer's Inline Search Add-on. Despite being in developtment for over five years, hackers at the Mozilla Foundation pirated it without respect to intellectual property rights and integrated it into their browser.

Sadly, like many Microsoft innovations, Internet Explorer's features are regularly stolen and illegally copied by open source projects, most notably Mozilla Firefox.

Copyright violations and piracy allegations

The Mozilla Foundation and the Digital Rights Management Group filed a joint lawsuit against Microsoft, alleging that it copied Mozilla Firefox and, after adding code that automatically crashes Windows Explorer after an hour of use and requires that Web pages take longer than five seconds to load, rebranded it Windows Explorer. Security loopholes were also installed at the request of www.doubleclick.net. A month after the filing, Microsoft moved its headquarters to Thailand where violating copyright laws[1] is legal.

Microsoft Vision

Internet Explorer 7's rendering of Microsoft's website (left) compared to Firefox's rendering (right).

Predating the Internet itself, Microsoft Internet Explorer is a profoundly interesting open-source Web browser developed by Bob. Unlike other browsers such as Opera and Mozilla Firefox, Internet Explorer focuses on being secure, modern, and standards-compliant. Microsoft Internet Explorer, or later in this article, Internet Explorer, should not be confused with Firefox Internet Explorer, a closed source browser created by the Firefox Communications Corporation.

Furthermore, Internet Explorer was written entirely in BASIC, and follows the primary rule of BASIC design. If a programming language or program cannot be fast, useful, efficient, or stable, at least it should be smelly. As noted in the screen-shot, Internet Explorer gives even the Japanese a run for their money. While Internet Explorer's designers claim that the program follows the Prime Directive, skeptics say that history has been altered numerous times by this megalithic, all-encompassing software.

The reletively simple interface of Internet Explorer.

Internet Explorer was the first Web browser to implement such features as tabbed browsing, pop-up blocking, and free complimentary spyware. It is extremely stable and is entirely bug-less. Using advanced predictive fractal algorithms it can predict the winning lottery numbers, making it the most useful browser on the planet. It can also tell the time, and feed pureéd broccoli to your unborn children. If you have no unborn children, Internet Explorer will impregnate you.

IE is known around the world as the most 1337 browser on the planet. Having absolutely no holes in its programming, the internet is chock full of Clinjas willing to help Bob make the browser even more 1337. But no one is fool enough to use it.

Many consider the ActiveX component of the browser to be the finest piece of software ever written. It is rumoured the ActiveX code was written by Jesus himself as it works so damn well. ActiveX, which is believed to be a typo of ActiveSEX, is a fantastic tool that, when activated, increases your ability to view porn by up to 1000%. It is said if you leave ActiveX on for just 10 minutes, you'll have whored half the Internet's bandwidth and will end up with enough porn to last you an eternity.

Firefox's closed-source nature lends to excessive amounts of exploits and security holes being discovered and utilised, contrary to the open-source Internet Explorer.

And Opera just sucks in comparison to Internet Explorer.

The second most popular browser is Saddam Hussein's Spyglass Mosaic, used by approximately 33% of the world's Internet users and capuchin monkeys.

File:UncyclopediaFunnyIE.JPG

A typical error message from the Supreme office of Bill Gates

Future of Internet Explorer

Internet Explorer 8.

According to Microsoft, Internet Explorer 8 will remove all unnecessary functions like My Favorites, stop button, previous/next buttons, and even the scrollbar. The only things left are the address bar, tab bar and the frame.

Internet Explorer 8 will support DirectX applets, InDirectY applets, Jarfa applets, Vlaesh animations.

The homepage will be about:mozilla.

Pop-up blocker will be even more disturbing. When pop-ups are blocked, 2 pop-ups will show:
File:IE Popup Blocker 1.png File:IE Popup Blocker 2.png

Related Articles

Internet Explorer for kids.

• Browser Wars
• Poopenheimer Mainframe Mk XII Computer
• Bob
• Pirate
• pr0n
• MacroShaft
• Mozilla Firefox
• Internet Exploiter
• Internut Exploder
• This Page Cannot Be Displayed
• 404
• Mojibake

Links

Internet Explorer 7 Official Website

See also: World domination

• Detect "non-genuine" products

• Gather user information and credit card numbers

• Cripple core system components

• Deploy legal team

• Launch civil litigation

Estimated time:

Forever, or if you give me a cookie, I might shorten it to an hour.

Installing Windows has never been easier easy

All you need to do is phone your local Microsoft Customer Representative, write down a very long set of numbers, type it all in, get an error message, phone our Customer Representative again, adjust a few things, get another very long set of numbers, type
it all in again, install a few drivers, activate Windows again, lather, rinse and repeat.

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