User:Zombiebaron

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There is nothing wrong with your computer screen. Do not attempt to adjust the picture. I am controlling transmission. If I wish to make it louder, I will bring up the volume. If I wish to make it softer, I will tune it to a whisper. I control the horizontal. I control the vertical. I can roll the image, make it flutter. I can change the focus to a soft blur or sharpen it to crystal clarity. For the next three decades, sit quietly and I will control all that you see and hear. I repeat: there is nothing wrong with your computer screen. You are about to participate in a great adventure. You are about to experience the awe and mystery which reaches from the inner mind to Zombiebaron.

Please use either my talkpage or Special:EmailUser/Zombiebaron to contact me.

“As one judge said to the other, 'Be just and if you can't be just be arbitrary.'”
– Drugs on William S. Burroughs

“I heard a joke once: Man goes to doctor. Says he's depressed. Says life is harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone in a threatening world. Doctor says, "Treatment is simple. The great clown Pagliacci is in town tonight. Go see him. That should pick you up." Man bursts into tears. Says, "But doctor... I am Pagliacci." Good joke. Everybody laugh. Roll on snare drum. Curtains.”
– Watchmen on Rorschach

This user has been on Uncyclopedia for
19 years, 2 months and 19 days.

Folding Statistics

This user was an admin on Uncyclopedia for
14 years, 2 months and 13 days.

My edits: 37,440

This user was a bureaucrat on Uncyclopedia for
9 years, 8 months and 18 days.

This user is a Master in the Potatochoppers' Guild, and has earned the respect and admiration of all for outstanding work. Ask this user about joining!