What you can do about the 45th President of the United States starting in the next 5 minutes
Are YOU tired of Trump? Are you a citizen of the United States and tired of our government being run like a circus act? Here is a short list of things you can do about the 45th President of the USA starting in the next 5 minutes.
Protest[edit | edit source]
Join a protest. It doesn't matter which protest, just join any one of them. If there are no protests in your area to join, start one. You can be an environmentalist, a member of the LGBT movement (even if you aren't homosexual, bisexual or transgendered), Hispanic, a striking unionist, a Black or Native American, or even just underpaid or unemployed. All you need is a stick and a piece of cardboard or cardstock. Handmade signs always look the best, especially if they are colored with crayons, markers, and/or paint. Just make sure the sign shows up when viewed from at least two or three city blocks away, to attract riot police and news media. Just remember, riot police are paid to protect property, not people so take care not to damage any property, and make sure you have the proper permits.
Petition[edit | edit source]
Petitions are available for signing everywhere, whether it be at your local grocery store or the internet. Make sure you sign at least 10 petitions. Don't worry about reading them first, just read the general description then sign without reading the fine print. After all, fine print is boring, and rarely important, as any lawyer can attest.
Social Media[edit | edit source]
Social media is great for getting the word out and making announcements to everybody in the world. Twitter works for Trump, why not take advantage of it yourself? If you prefer to post pictures instead, take to Instagram. It doesn't matter if the picture has words in it...as long as it is in picture file format. If you want to post both words and pictures, or want to write a short story, Facebook is your friend. Some social media formats even support fundraising. As a bonus, the more political posts you make, and the more fundraising requests you make, the fewer Facebook friends you will have, and the fewer people will follow you on Twitter, Instagram, and Google Plus.
Educate Yourself[edit | edit source]
The next step is to prepare to vote. Familiarize yourself with political issues, and decide which issues are most important to you, and which ones you are willing to sacrifice. Next, familiarize yourself with the candidates running for office. Research all the dirty, dirty dirt on all of them, and decide which one sounds the least bad to you and has the most shared political values with you. Don't just watch mud-slinging ads on TV, because we all know TV (especially advertising) is a source of Fake News that frequently repeats itself (booooring). Moreover, the mud-slinging ads are a mass media form of troll that thrives on YOUR outrage. Don't feed the trolls: Change the channel. Finally, whatever you do, do not limit yourself to strictly right-wing or strictly left-wing internet sites, or you will find yourself misinformed. Avoid sites that describe neutral sites as biased: this shows the extremity of their own bias.
Vote the Bastards out of Office[edit | edit source]
We all know people who hold political office who have sold out to Big Money. We also know people who hold political office who are afraid to do anything but praise and extol Trump as their One True Supreme God and Master. This is false religion, and must be treated like any other cult, but with one exception. Congressmen cannot be detained for de-brainwashing and rehab therapy while they hold office, so they must be voted out of office for intervention to occur. You must employ the pre-therapy ritual of applying postage to your mail-in ballots, or taking the sacrament of the voting booth.