User talk:Stilicho

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Again, welcome!  ChiefjusticeDS 10:45, October 11, 2009 (UTC)

Reminder To Self

Working on finishing some Northern Ontario and 17th Century English poetry stuff. Let's not forget this again. --Stilicho 22:35, November 21, 2009 (UTC)

I already forgot all about this. What a fecking n00b. --

--Stilicho 09:54, March 26, 2011 (UTC)

Lupus

I'm not the one you should talk to my friend, you should talk to Lyrithya. If you really want to save the article, go vote Keep. as fast as you can, and explain there that you will add some jokes or else it will be deleted when 5 people or more vote to do so. Maybe it already is. Another thing you could do is save it on your userpage like this: User:Stilicho/Lupus. But be fast! Mattsnow 21:26, June 7, 2011 (UTC)

I have the original so it's not the biggest deal in the world. I accidentally drew attention to it by saving it to the wrong area of Uncyclopedia. --Stilicho 22:36, June 7, 2011 (UTC)

OK. Lyrithya nommed it for deletion, maybe you should ask her why (what needs improvement). As for me, just as I said: it's well written, don't be afraid to attempt more jokes. Mattsnow 23:36, June 7, 2011 (UTC)

Since you really seem to want to improve it, I changed my vote on VFD. Good luck with it! :) Mattsnow 23:51, June 7, 2011 (UTC)

Lupus

I saw your note on Matt's page asking for more jokes, and decided to try to help. It still needs work. Generally they seem to like a concept carried through the entire piece. Lupus seems fairly random. It is not obvious why the notable people that had Lupus were chosen. If there is something tying them together hammer it home. Keep it at three. A cheap comedic trick is three is funny. Item one, Item two - punchline item. eg: Thomas Aquinas, Thomas Payne & punchline name. Couple ways to go, since you have established the Lion theme, perhaps - Burt Lahr (cowardly lion from WoOz) Matthew Broderick (Wasn't he a voice in Lion King?) Tony the Tiger (which makes no sense but still gives you some quote fodder)

I have not looked on VFD, have you gone in to vote against, and make a case for your intent to improve the article?

The cure recipe had the comedic mayo application, but it could be phrased better. I was trying to follow where the smearing was to go. Also the word schmear is funnier. There is a funny scene with Nathan Lane in the bird cage based around the word Schmear. Also perhaps end with a call back. which is a repeat of an earlier punchline in a new way, or a way they would connect to an earlier chuckle. An example is It's a good thing called back to a seemingly random Martha Stewart reference in the beginning.

These are my suggestions. Others will say, that if something is not building tot he punch line, it does not need to be in the article. Ron Howard's personal Trainer was not funny. It was obsurd, which is what it is, but there was no obvious reason why Ron Howard or personal trainer was chosen. That's why I switched it to Clint Howard, who actually kind of looks like he may have real lupus. --K evillips эвилипс MUN,CM,NS,3of7 01:44, June 8, 2011 (UTC)

I am not that punchline-oriented but I see your point. Thanks for the help!

Truthfully, I started the article since there wasn't one yet. I also didn't want to repeat the same set of jokes from House M.D., which is rife with lupus stuff.

It's certainly true that things can be absurd and yet not funny. Food for thought.

I like the idea of a couple absurd 'notable victims' (I can remove the Chinese admiral) and add Tony the Tiger. --Stilicho 18:46, June 8, 2011 (UTC)

reprieve

I noticed the article got saved, but I put the construction tag which is a 7 day reprieve. I think it is real close with your changes today. I think one more section will make it complete. I am not sure where to go "living with Lupus" or perhaps charity to raise funds for the eradication of Lupus. Not sure. --K evillips эвилипс MUN,CM,NS,3of7 22:29, June 8, 2011 (UTC)

I might be funny later this month so I'll be back to it. --Stilicho 20:35, June 13, 2011 (UTC)

How Are The Romans Treating You?

Well not too good the first time, something about being too easy on the Visigoths. I am just curious to see that you came to this site in October 2009(?) and I hadn't seen you before. --RomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 06:46, June 16, 2011 (UTC)