User:Xamralco/Pseudo-intellectual bullshit

Figure 1. Black and white photography, a pipe, and an old white man, each an illustration of pseudo-intellectual bullshit.

“Pseudo-intellectual bullshit is the soul of wit.”

~ The Tragedy of Hamlet, Prince of Denmark, Act II, scene ii

Preface

Prior to perusing this article, I would like to inform you that this piece of literary criticism ought to be read with a British accent. Anything less, be it Chinese, Japanese, Swahili, et cetera, et cetera, shall taint the intended effect of this fine body of work. Do not stoop to the level of these inferior speakers. You have been warned.

Pseudo-intellectual bullshit: An introduction

Pseudo-intellectual bullshit is a term coined by the late Socrates to designate material of a pseudo-intellectual nature. To put it comprehensibly, pseudo-intellectual bullshit is three-parts prestige, two-parts savoir faire, six and three-quarter parts Glenfiddich 1937, and a dash of ascendancy.

Pseudo-intellectual bullshit: An introduction: A translation

For those who prefer the lingua franca of Medieval Europe, the following translation of the previous section has been generously provided by Alan J. Nussbaum of the Cornell University Department of Classics.

Nuper a et pseudophilippus-intellectualis diam terminus signata materia Socrate a pseudo-intellectualis natura designari. Ut enim comprehensibiliter pseudophilippus-intellectualis substantia est tribus partibus auctoritate, duabus ex partibus rerum experti, et sex et viginti quinque partibus Glenfiddich MCMXXXVII, et uirgula potentia inpendet.

Chapter One: Fine Dining

Figure 2. Wine tasting (left), the exemplification of pseudo-intellectual bullshit. Beer bongs and big dongs (right), not so...

Chapter 3.1415­9265­3589­7932­3846­2643­3832­7950­2884­1971­6939­9375­1058­2097­4944­5923­0781­6406­286...: Pi

'Tis nothing more than a bit of pseudo-intellectual mathematical humour. Any mathematician akin to Muḥammad ibn Mūsā al-Khwārizmī could comprehend such a jest, but perhaps a few of our readers are not so well versed in geometric vocabulary. My apologies. Precede. Precede.

Bibliography

Tomasello, Michael (2003). Constructing a Language: A Usage-Based Theory of Language Acquisition. Cambridge, MA: Harvard University Press. ISBN 978-0-674-01030-7.