User:Stephenturner227

Go to UN:AAN for adoptionStephen Ostrich Harold Shipman Turner was born aged 1 and 3 months under dubious circumstances on the 17th of August 1992 in Climax Springs, Missouri, USA into an extremely wealthy white supremicist family. His mother, Ursula Kilimanjaro Oddknob, was an Almanian salsa dancer with webbed feet who perished seconds after Stephen's 3rd birthday in a tragic smiling accident. His father, Lumic Joseph Merrick Turner, was France's first asian David Bowie tribute act, explaining their families unimaginable wealth. Stephen is in possession of a brother, Tarquin Felicity Byron Whittaker Turner, who is currently incarcerated for knitting during the Greek fishing season. He also has a sister, Greta Pikachu Pac-Man Turner, who claims to have penned the Conway Twitty classic "Your Love Had Me This High", invented the piggybank and coined the phrase "a moment on the lips, a lifetime on the hips." Such claims however, have been proved bunkum at best. Stephen achieved widespread fame and notoriety as ugly baby #2 in an as yet unscreened episode of Only Fools and Horses, bit parts in the films Caddyshack, Debbie Does Dallas and Tron and a brief stint as Chef in South Park while Isaac Hayes suffered from an inflammation of the nipples. He soon became a member of the Screen Actors Guilde, becoming it's youngest and most talented member. His father, unable to cope with the media attention surrounding his son, fled to the Czech Republic where he was subsequently pissed on by a pack of weasels, punched in the groin by a midget and spat on by Lilly Allen. He is now their goodwill embassador. Stephen, crushed by the fact that he had misplaced his Jimmy Saville autobiography, soon turned to drugs. He was last seen in Edinburgh chewing on a horse's adrenal gland