User:RAHB/welcome

Welcome!

Don't mind me. I'm just here for the enem- I MEAN WELCOME! WELCOME!

Hello, <insert name here>, and welcome to Uncyclopedia! Thank you for your contributions. I hope you like the place and decide to stay. If not, the door's right over there... no, a little more to your left... yeah. Anyway, my name is RAHB, and I'll be your guide through the mystical land of Uncyclopedia. We'll begin the tour with a few helpful links for noobies:

• Beginner's Guide - A massive guide about how to be the best you can be at Uncyclopedia. I've honestly never read the whole thing in one sitting myself, but it is very useful if you're looking for help on a specific issue.
• Our Vanity Policies - This page details the site's policy's on notability of topics used for articles. Vanity is something taken very seriously here, but if you abide by this policy everything will be just fine.
• How to be funny and not just stupid - This is our flagship link. This will tell you how to not get booed off the metaphorical stage that is Uncyclopedia. If you're having trouble coming up with funny ideas, or maybe need a refresher on the comedic process, this is a good page to read for some help.
• Uncyclopedia:Best of - This is a page filled with a list of our featured articles, all of the pages that have graced the main page over the years. Another great one if you're looking for inspiration.

Now that that's out of the way, take a look to your right, and you'll notice some more links, these ones are about help in general:

• About Uncyclopedia and The five pliers of Uncyclopedia
• How to get started editing on uncyclopedia
• Help Pages - if you need help with a specific issue

These are the basics to contributing on the site, and what every user is initially exposed to upon making their first edits. If you wish to know some more, continue reading, as I've compiled a slightly more personalized addition to the standard welcome greeting.

The RAHB Guide

As I said, my name is RAHB. Though that's not my real name, obviously, it is the name I go by here, just as <insert name here> is the name you will go by here. With any luck, we'll be getting to know each other soon enough through general contact within the Uncyclopedia community. Speaking of the community, here are some general tips for communicating and becoming a constructive member, as well as a constructive contributor:

• First of all, the page you came here from, where I have undoubtedly posted a shorter welcome message if you are in fact here (you are here, right? Okay, good) is your talk page. On your talk page, people can leave you comments and messages, and likewise, you can reply to their messages. Most Uncyclopedians prefer that you reply where they wrote their message, so if someone leaves you a message on your page, respond to them there. You can also leave messages for other users by clicking the "discussion" link at the top of their userpage. This is the most common form of communication on Uncyclopedia, and on most wikis in general.
• Next is the Village Dump. This is the community forum, where general topics are put up for open discussion for the entire Uncyclopedia community to contribute to. Most of the stuff we do in the forum is nonsensical and light-hearted, but if you find yourself in need of help, we're always willing to help those who post a concern in the forums. Other uses for the forums include getting to know your fellow Uncyclopedians a little better and interacting as an openly visible member of the community, letting us all know you exist and what not.
• Third is the IRC. You can use your own IRC client or the Uncyclopedia java client provided on the page to access our chatroom. This provides a more active, immediate response for whatever it is that is going on. Once more, we mostly talk fun, light-hearted talk in there, and it is encouraged, but the channel is also useful for getting help with general questions, provided the right individuals are hanging around. This is where a lot of Uncyclopedians make friends and integrate themselves into the community, and I do recommend going there. I'm in there very often myself, so if you can find me, I'd be glad to answer any of the questions you have.

If you have any sort of question that was not addressed in the above information, I suggest going first to the forums and IRC, and if absolutely nobody can help you, or if you are redirected, take it to the talk page of an administrator.

Writing Articles:
At Uncyclopedia, writing articles is not a requirement, but I do recommend it, it can be quite enjoyable, and it's a good chance to let others take notice of your writing. To write an article, it's recommended that you start it in your userspace (for example, Special:MyPage/Article about stuff), so you can edit it at your leisure. If you decide to create it in the cold world of mainspace, make sure it is in accordance with the policies laid out above, and if you're not done put the "Work-In-Progress" template - {{construction}} - onto it as well. Also, use some of the below links if you feel your article needs a push or needs something special added to it. This is a wiki, and we're all willing to help where we're needed.

Random Links You May Find Helpful and/or Interesting:

• VFH - This is where the community nominates and votes for articles that they think should be featured (or votes against if they think they shouldn't be). Feel free to nominate a page you find hilarious, and with any luck, others will too!
• VFP - VFP is like VFH, except with images, instead of articles.
• QVFD - If you find a newly created article (younger than a week) that you believe is worthy of deletion (see our deletion policy), you can place it on this page for an administrator to come and take a look at. This is a great service to Uncyclopedia, as it keeps one-liners and low quality articles out of the public eye, and helps the administrators with their job of...administrating.
• VFD - VFD is similar to QVFD, with a few key differences. VFD is for articles older than a week, and VFD also has a voting process, similar to that of VFH and VFP. Articles are voted to be deleted or kept. It is recommended that you monitor the VFD activity for a while and get a feel for it before nominating anything.
• Uncyclopedia:Ban Patrol - This page is for reporting wiki-vandals, cyber-bullies, and other such "criminals" to be disciplined accordingly to their actions. We like to keep out wiki nice and clean, so repeated offenders are looked down upon, and usually punished.
• Special:Watchlist - This is your watchlist. It shows you all the recent edits made to pages that you're interested in (you will be informed about new talk page messages instantly, whether it's on your watchlist or not, but by default your userpage and talk page are watched). You can watch any page by clicking the "watch" tab at the top of that page. The page's talk page (discussion tab) is also included in such cases.
• Need something special added to your article? Try one of these: Request An Image, Request An Audio Narration (one of my personal specialties), or Request A Review Of Your Article.
• Uncyclopedia:Poo Lit Surprise - This is a writing competition we have bi-annually. People win money if they win some of the categories. (Note: At the time of this writing, the contest may or may not be in progress. See the page for more details).

There are tons of other things I'd love to tell you about contributing here, but I believe this message is long enough. If you do have any other questions, feel free to ask me on my talk page. Additionally, the Uncyclopedian Adopt-a-Noob program is there to bring experienced editors straight to you. Browse our list of available mentors, and leave them a message on their talk page. I'm perfectly open to adopting noobs myself, so don't hesitate to ask if you would prefer to be adopted.

And that's about it. I hope you enjoy editing here and being an Uncyclopedian, and remember: Have fun with it. We are a humor wiki, so don't worry about taking things too seriously. We're here to have a good time and to have a good laugh. Please sign your name on talk pages using four tildes (~~~~) or use the "sign" button () above the edit box. This will automatically produce your name and the date. Once more, thank you for your contributions and welcome! I'll be seeing you around.