User:Nacky/sandbox

Template Test

Background Template


Symbol

I'm only testing this here so as to not mess up the original. My HTML is novice level. Nacky (talk) 10:19, 30 November 2024 (UTC)

Hmm

If anyone can tell me more about the color chart as found here: https://en.uncyclopedia.co/wiki/User:Zana_Dark/Color_Chart I'd like to know where an easier chart is, like with just the color numbers. The cell padding seems a bit off, but I could be super out of it, and is there a selection of fonts to be had? And I'm guessing I can add a fancier background to the body of contents. Nacky (talk) 10:23, 30 November 2024 (UTC)

I don't see anything wrong with it. But if you want custom colours, just google search "google colour picker", and google will give you a colour-selection tool similar to what you would see inside an art app, and give you the colour code (also known as a hex code). L10nM4st3r ^{ROAR at me!} / _{What my paws scratched} 09:34, 31 December 2024 (UTC)

Yeah I'm ready to give up trying to get this background pic inside the template because it really won't work in 2D. The stretching is off. And I've never really done much html or css outside of stuff like this and even this confuses me. I'm self-taught on coding and so that's why... Nacky (talk) 09:48, 31 December 2024 (UTC)

I'm also self-taught. I've definetly seen worse, and I probably wouldn't have been able to get as far as you have with this template. Not where my skills lie.. L10nM4st3r ^{ROAR at me!} / _{What my paws scratched} 10:42, 31 December 2024 (UTC)

Look at that. It's a nice color. Nice pic. I wish it would go all the way to the right, but something's blocking it from doing that. So far I've uploaded 3 of these same files at different ratios, and still...there's something that we're all doing wrong. I don't suppose the original template author would happen to be around? But look at that - it just blends so well. It's really nice for the half of it that you can see. It's just that other half that's being a bitch! Nacky (talk) 11:08, 31 December 2024 (UTC)

Looks like you're also losing years of your lifespan over some silly wiki thing. Keep at it, when you finally succeed it will feel great. L10nM4st3r ^{ROAR at me!} / _{What my paws scratched} 13:54, 31 December 2024 (UTC)

There's no way that pic is that big. Look at the original file. I tried to make it the size the actual perimeters are, but somewhere in the coding it is expanding it, as a whole, rather than from width and length. I watched some tutorials on yt but none of them really did anything because it's all in div. And it's not silly to me because it does look nicer with the pic. I have the ring-script pic on this page linked, that would serve as something with a better color bg. But I don't know how to get that to working. Nacky (talk) 19:54, 31 December 2024 (UTC)

Life is silly. Which means everything is silly. L10nM4st3r ^{ROAR at me!} / _{What my paws scratched} 21:44, 31 December 2024 (UTC)

We all have our roles to play. I've been collecting silly little lighters. But I want big lighters. The kind that almost handles like a flamethrower. Yes, I think that would be a super fun silly thing to have! :p Nacky (talk) 00:15, 1 January 2025 (UTC)

Looking over this HTML

https://en.uncyclopedia.co/w/index.php?title=Template:Time_travel&action=edit clearly there is a picture file in that, but the coding is way different than this one. Original bg platecolor: #DEF9D5 from the LOTR info.

On Standby

You'll be dealing with both of them. Trust me.

Once a reasonable hobbit-like person, Gollum eventually became a slimy, bling-obsessed, fish-fancying, flesh eater. A mongrel who sulked around and brooded over a damned ring that he had to kill for in order to steal it from his cousin Déagol. Who happened to steal it from the river that had been trying to kill him. That the river just kept on rolling along. That Old Man River held the golden ring for ages. It was said to be immune to being invisible. There are conflicting opinions of all of this. The contents of the river bed may have been invisible enough for Déagol's eyes to spot it in order to grab it in the first place when a fish pulled him out of the boat and dragged him down to the bottom. But the ring may have just shrunk after being in cold water after all those years. Whatever the case, it was Déagol's fishing companion that obtained the ring. Sméagol was his name at the time before it was changed, apparently legally by the townsfolk, to Gollum.

Of course Sméagol whould murder for the ring, taking it from Déagol. Sméagol figured that his friend would put the ring on and kill him. This was his reasoning although Déagol never actually put the ring on to test its powers. But Sméagol was already paranoid and murdering the simpleton were acceptable terms. Then he realized it made people invisible. Sorry chump! You were a bit late and now look at your stupid ass! Being all dead and shit. Gollum said to Déagol as he kicked his corpse off the banks of the river and let the rest of the hungry fish finish him off. For a single, pint-sized twit, it was this guy alone that caused such a ruckus, such devastation and eventually unchecked genocide for many in Middle Earth that he was rightfully cursed by more pint-sized peeps who got into character and went forth to kick his and his ring's ass.

River Roots

It had to have been such a boring life, an existence of perpetual Hell, to go about all your days and nights settled on the edge of a river that says nothing. A river that keeps on rolling along. Now that it's been brought up again, hold onto that thought. This will be a theme concerning Gollum, the Ring, and the killing sprees this river seems to attract itself to. As the story goes, a Dark Lord named Sauron, servant of Morgoth, who was previously Melkor the Mediocre. He had a short-lived music career but he sunk into a bass groove he couldn't get out of, and his skill in composition was god awful and he was ultimately banned from the Hot 100 Cosmic Chart. But before all of his work was undone by all the Elves who held platinum records, he penned one last song. Old Man Rapids. Yet everyone believed this to be about the Anduin which meant Long River in Elvish. So as all things in this odd little world, the river took on the idea that it was something special. But it was an evil guy who wrote about it. It eventually found out because the Ents blabbed about it. Although it took a while to spit it out.

But here is where the curse of Morgoth's menace seemed to bring bad luck to this infamous river. After Morgoth was overthrown, his pet student Sauron crafted a ring thinking he's try his hand at becoming a jeweler. This failed horribly although his brand was of a high end quality. He lost his prize prototype ring after the elves contested their contracts and won their lawsuit against his One Ring market and were able to move forward with their rings as planned. The men and dwarves weren't so lucky. And one man managed to take Sauron's One Ring right off his hand, cutting several fingers off in the process.

They must know somethin', they don't say nothin'!

It was bad but it was in the middle of battle, in the middle of a war, so it was kind of expected. Sauron really hated it. The man taking the One Ring didn't last too long afterward. And into the cursed river he fell. Lost the bling, and of course, the river said nothing. Maybe glug glug. After some years or so, hobbit-like people started dwelling there and made a small community near the river. This is where Gollum was born. Now it starts to make sense of why Gollum got to be so screwed up. The River Folk who settled there, also drank the water, fished in it, and possibly used it as a swimming hole. This river, with the dead body, an evil ring, and a song about it being chronically apathetic, all lead to the eventual anomaly known as Gollum.

Getting Disowned

Sure, it would have been something extraordinary to learn that there was an actual, tangible craft emitting from a ring to make one invisible and set out to use that power for good things. Instead once everyone knew Gollum's little secret power of invisibility and how he was able to learn private matters in his community of river folk, the ring was of little consequence when they were making headlines in Gondor and Mordor to be made fun of. It was just embarrassing that Gollum sent pics of them dressing up as soldiers from Minas Tirith and getting the village idiot to play Denethor and reacting the Last Alliance wargames and using strawmen to play the Elves and Orcs and still getting their asses kicked.

But that was just one thing, for Gollum found out secrets that nobody was supposed to know. Like how there were some folks actually plotting to kill Gollum because he was a monumental pain in the ass. It was hard to kill him when he knew not to drink the ale. Not to walk under a certain ladder. Not to fall for anyone shouting "Is that Mel Brooks over there?!" and not to take any wooden nickles.

But a crazy mishap on Sméagol's part landed him in jail. He was seen vanishing after putting on the ring, which he killed for, and seconds later reappearing in the bedroom of a female he had his eye on. It wasn't entirely fair as there were other men hiding in her room as well, but that's beside the point. He was caught and served time. Eventually he was kicked out of the village after numerous escapes. That village was full of idiots, Sméagol included, and they never deduced that his invisibility was possible by the shiny golden ring he flaunted. Basically in their face! Naturally the lady who got spied on was furious. She ended up having to move to a quieter location. She opted for Fangorn Forest. Last anyone heard of her, she was apparently 50 feet tall and had to move from there eventually. This is the kind of shit that happens along that river.

Sméagol slowly turned into a slimy creature and embraced his Gollum identity. Moving into the Misty Mountains, he caused some trouble there too and was disowned by the goblins furthering his agony, isolation, and abandonment issues. The ring he possessed was his only companion. Although the ring itself started to realize that it somehow ended up back in a dark, cold place after all that trouble it went through to get its slave to kill for it.

New Place, Old Cave

Now that Sméagol was officially Gollum, the Ring took over him and made him into bony, half-starved, barely recognizable wraith of a creature who loved fish. In this hellish situation and adapting to the Ring's influence of being accustomed to dark places, Gollum was the personality that took hold. However when the Ring needed to signal to its master, Lord Sauron, it regressed Gollum back into Sméagol and then left him like that, mid hypnosis and maximum psychosis that the two clashing personalities argued over small things. Like how to cook goblins and other mountain cave dwellers.

When a hobbit by the name of Bilbo Baggins showed up, Gollum argued with Sméagol about how to properly ingest a hobbit. The Ring couldn't have cared less, but Gollum was sure he knew best. Until the hobbit offered to play a game of riddles with Sméagol, making Gollum jealous and suddenly territorial. It was at this point that the Ring had seen a way out. A way out of the dismal cave and to attach itself to a new master that traveled, and hopefully get back to its true master. The same guy that shacked up in a dark tower surrounded by orcs and a churning, active volcano. But it was better than nothing. The riddles commenced.

What do you get when you throw a troll off of a cliff? The answer was obviously that you get fined for improperly disposing of a cartoon character.

What happens when you set fire to a chemical plant? The answer wasn't as easy to guess but Bilbo triumphed anyway as he answered, you get a role in Batman.

Guessing Games in the Grotto.

The riddles went back and forth until Bilbo tried looking for his keys and realized he'd picked up Gollum's set of keys by accident and tossed them to him. They fell in the water and Gollum dived in to retrieve them but as he did, the Ring somehow managed to slip out of Gollum's loincloth and roll all the way to Bilbo's feet. Noticing this, Bilbo tried to kick it away. It came from Gollum's loincloth forgodsake! But the Ring chased Bilbo down a tunnel until it lodged itself onto Bilbo's finger. Bilbo was horrified but saw that he couldn't see himself. It kind of went from there and Bilbo was now the Ring's owner. Gollum fell for the tossed-keys-in-the-mountain-underground-lake trick. He was pissed.

Must Find The Precious

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Found Precious, Now Must Find Giant Spider

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Got Precious, Got Flame Broiled

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United States v. Godzilla

Comparison

In a series of declassified documents containing accounts of wars, rumors of wars, and mental gymnastic battles that have no gold medalists or trophy corpses, let alone worldwide destruction that can be defined by any costs or storefronts rummaged through, there are injured witnesses to the fact that Godzilla was a main concern for the multibillionaire corporation known as the Government of the United States. While there does seem to be a profile of who was involved directly in the dismantling of the beast also known as Sumo Lizardsan, it's unclear how many from the corporation of the United States had been assigned the task of the impossible mission to take down an ancient Demolition Lord that's been nothing but trouble.

“What is this crap?!”

– Godzilla on Tokyo

“Japan won the space race but it was fake and gay and to top that off, they still had this giant lizard bipedal dragon that sent construction sites back to the Stone Age!”

– Ivan the Terrible

“You can use elephant guns, tranquilizers by the gallon, and you can launch missiles and bombs at that thing but you're still gonna need to rebuild whatever was in Godzilla's path.”

– Japanese Navy

U.S. Department of Energy v. Godzilla

First Cthulhu eats my car, now this thing just casually walks all over it - ugh!

In 1940 the Japan Railways Group blew up a mountain to make way for a new highway. This stirred up an underground reptilian monster that proceeded to stomp the railroad and move on to stomp Tokyo. Then made its way across the ocean and began stomping the United States, including Hawaii and any Hawaiians hiding in Canada. Naturally, war was declared on Japan. It somehow got worse a year later. Godzilla was running amok and nothing seemed to stop it. Everyone lived in fear of the giant fish lizard rubber dinosaur with a vendetta.

Eventually the experts were called in to assist. Mark Mitchell and Ezra Conan Watnick were brought up to date on the whereabouts of Godzilla and the trail of carnage in its wake. Neither one of them wanted to catalogue the names and places as it was too depressing. When informed that most of the victims were just Robots, and the damage was mostly Cardboard Boxes and Styrofoam they still refused. They had to go underground to avoid being stepped on if they wanted to track the beast. Ezra tried previously to drive away but Godzilla's stride was too much and moved so fast that he had to abandon his car before he too, got squished. Mitchell suggested that they use satellites to track where the monster goes after destroying everything in sight. Ezra didn't want to break out any more drones or satellites and opted to head out on a brand new Submarine and confront the notorious Gamera. Watnick proceeded to taunt Mitchell about the fear of reptilian ocean dwellers and opined that it wasn't that big of a deal. Mitchell agreed that they should be more focused on catching Gamera and how hard could it be to pursue a giant turtle, after all? But Gamera had the ability to fly faster than any of their cars or planes.

A typical conversation between Mark Mitchell and Ezra Watnick as they ran for the hills.

Mark: What is that thing? It's flying through the air, and it's coming this way!

Ezra: It's nothing.

Mark: Godzilla is still on the loose, just, fyi.

Ezra: Why are you so afraid of that pathetic oversized salamander?

Mark: Dude it just wrecked your ride!

Ezra: It was a rental and what wreck? I don't see anything.

Mark: Godzilla just smashed your car into a pancake!

Ezra: Nonsense!

Mark: I mean, what else could do that?

Ezra: A falling rock?

Mark: Literally one of Godzilla's toenails is wedged in the windshield!

Ezra: Shut up shut up shut up!

Mark: You know, I did count 17 pieces of what was left of your car.

Ezra: Nooooooooooooooooooo!

U.S. Department of Transportation v. Godzilla

Buses, trains, and trolleys were never the same.

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U.S. Department of Homeland Security v. Godzilla

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U.S. Department of War v. Godzilla

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U.S. Coast Guard v. Godzilla

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Moral of the Story

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