User:Mu Kappa Pi/HowTo:Become Administrator of the French Uncyclopedia
How to become administrator of the French Uncyclopedia?
Hello everybody, my name is (censor), and I’m one of the non famous administrators of the French Uncyclopedia (yes it does exist, no it’s not that crappy). If I’m here today it’s because we’re suffering a terrible crisis, which could mean the end of the wiki, and also the end of any life sense for me (and also the end of your first wiki opponent in the world).
We need more control, more censoring spirit, and especially more intolerance toward the fucking pony publishing some fucking crap about their fucking life or even their fucking village, thinking that the word “fuck” makes their purpose funny and distractive: fuck!
Indeed I’m going to teach you How to become administrator of the French Uncyclopedia, in ten easy steps that even you, stupid reader of an English article written by a stupid French dude, could understand. Are you ready?
Step 1[edit | edit source]
First you need to create an account. Why? Because your stupid wiki does not use the same wiki system as us, because you English people wants to do everything different, because your toast always fall on the wrong side and so on…
You will be asked to choose a pseudo, but please do it very carefully. Some eccentric names like K2VIN, poneykitencul or fuckingprincess may brake your future adminship career. I recommend you something like FantasticMan, IncredibleMan or even AmazingbedperformancesMan (yes, super heroes are really appreciated in France).
Now you have an account, right, it’s time to create your own userpage!
Step 2[edit | edit source]
Your image on the wiki is largely impacted by the userpage content. Putting a monkey on it signify that you’re trying to become a Darwin user, putting a pony on it signify that you are auto flogging, and putting a big red donkey cock signify that... you are gay, but we don’t care, it is not contagious disease. Then, you should write some lines about you, your difficult childhood, and these long hours spent in your basement, bound to a chair, and wearing a dress in front of your father shooting his next Youporn commitment... No, put some lines, really.
But don’t forget, this is YOUR page, YOUR freedom area, and YOUR eagagareen[1], so enjoy and have fun on it!
Step 3[edit | edit source]
Step 3 is maybe the most difficult part of this guideline, cause it needs you to have a brain, humour, penis bigger than one foot, in fact you need to be me, well almost!
Get started with something easy and very idiot, like an article about Pickle, or a guide like How to open a pickle jar, or even The plastic stuff used to get the pickle from the jar without using ones finger but we never remember the name. Don’t forget to put some pictures, of a Tiny Lovely Rabbit for example (we love that), and don’t be too perfect to avoid being considered as a “faux-nez”, that is to say an already in place admin.
Your submission should be noticed by one of the 1000, 100, 20 staff member, and published on the main wiki page. Congratulations, you just became an official user!
Step 4[edit | edit source]
Now we are getting in! If you use to meet friends, go to party or watch porno online I regret to announce that it is for the last time: to become administrator, you need to abandon your life, like I did with my doggy Brutus last Summer, with my study last September, and with my girlfriend... no, I never had any girlfriend, just some doggies.
The trick is to spend your half-life (at least) on the wiki, just doing useless stuff like categorize articles, vote for featured articles, comment some articles, and sometimes, when you get rid with this entire sheet, write an article. If everything goes okay, you should get the title of UPTC (Non That Idiot Contributor[2]) one month after your subscription (and without any bribe or prostitution act).
With this title displayed on your usepage, next to your monkey head or your bunch of crap (YOUR choice remember!), you get a fantastic power against usual users, you can..., you can..., okay, in fact NO YOU CAN'T, but you're near from it, very near.
Step 5[edit | edit source]
Ther isn't any step five, never, do you hear me? NEVER !!!
Step 6[edit | edit source]
Step 6 needs you to be agressive, really agressive! Like a dog who have to pee on every lamp-post of his street, you have to mark your territory by publishing useless comments on userpages, you have to start some brawls on every voting page or forum discussion, in one word you have to become... a TROLL!
A troll is a kind of baby admin, a guy who give some life to the wiki. Don't hesitate to be very crude with pony users, to be insolent with the admin corp, and don't forget to make some friends seeking the same as you: become the King of the dÉ!
If you feel hated or frowned upon, don't care, it's a good point. But if in the same time you want to provide good articles, and get some prizes for it, just create another account, publish two or three good texts, and get the honnors with this nice guy for the time that the bad one is conquiering the whole wiki, <demoniac laughter>!
Step 7[edit | edit source]
Have a break, and a kit-kat if you're hungry. No, really, I'm serious. It's exactly the same way as with women, and as the French expression says: Suis moi je te fuis, fuis moi je te suis. Personnaly I made a fourth months brake, I was wiki addict but with my Faux-nez I was still voting, dicussing, having web sex, and get some news about the website.
Then, one day, I came back! And I exactly applied the same work I already exposed, but with a nice and cute behaviour, providing me two months later the title of administrator of the wiki!
Hey, we're not at the step 10! Yes, for sure, because the greatest is coming NOW!
Step 8[edit | edit source]
YOU got the POWER! Now it's time to use it... as a silly bastard of course!