User:Kippy/UnNews:BENSON elected first black president
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This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-picosecond misinformation. |
X November 2008
Wikia, Inc. - Yesterday, Wikia, Inc. held it's presidential election. As of this morning, BENSON of Uncyclopedia was declared the winner against incumbent Jimbo Wales, becoming Wikia's first black president.
This history of BENSON stretches back to 2006, when the obscure young lad gave this inspirational speech in the Uncyclopedia National Convention:
| “ | BENSON IS HERE! BENSON IS FAR SUPERIOR TO YOU! BENSON TYPES IN ALL CAPS BECAUSE BENSON SPEAKS IN ALL CAPS! ONE DAY BENSON WILL KILL YOU ALL, OR PERHAPS OWN YOU! BENSON JUST WANTED EVERYONE TO KNOW THAT HE IS HERE. | ” |
Within a day, BENSON became a huge phenominom. He was all the rave among television pundits. He soon earned the highly coveted interview with Squiggle on The Squiggle Show.
Though BENSON many followers were behind him, he was considered a longshot going against the Wikia establishment candidate Sannse. By August, Sannse has conseded her campaign and endorsed BENSON.
Many wikiexperts criticized BENSON as inexperienced. His only experience was the position of being a god among Uncyclopedia nerds. He was never an admin, nor had he won any real awards.
During October, BENSON slowly dropped in the polls. The Wales campaign called him condescending and elitist due to his slogan "BENSON IS BETTER THAN YOU!" BENSON convinced young wikiaphiles that he was just like them in a speech about his mom had just bought him a new XBox.
Three days before the election, BENSON's campaign came under attack again for accusations of voter fraud. A backtrack found that a surge of new Wikia accounts belonged to several known Uncyclopedians.
This morning at 6 a.m., BENSON gave his acceptance speech:
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Though BENSON is widely considered to be 'black', there is a debate over whether or not he truely deserves the title of "First Black President of Wikia". Technically, BENSON is in fact invisible, and only appears as a black man so that mere mortals can see him. BENSON ended the debate by declaring it racist. Nobody question the validilty of BENSON's negroness.
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