User:ArrowFlint22/Knuckle dusters
Knuckle Dusters or Brass Knuckles are a cleaning appliance invented by Clorox specifically to be used as a better alternative to your average feather duster. They were a big hit and sold millions around the fucking globe. Apparently they weren't popular, because people were using them for their intended purpose (nobody really used them for their original purpose), but much rather because people were weaponizing them.
Debut[edit | edit source]
Knuckle dusters were released by Clorox as a cleaning product, but then people used them to murder each other. I honestly don't know how or why people actually do this, but they manage... They were used for the longest time to win boxing matches instantly, because boxers would wear them underneath their gloves. They were also very popular with the French (French maids mostly), because the French like to clean shit all the fucking time so they were they only ones to use the knuckle duster for it's original purpose, cleaning shit. Russians use them to beat up homosexuals, and I use them as a back scratcher, because my back gets really fucking itchy.
Other variants[edit | edit source]
Soon other variants of this device were made. Here is the rundown:
The French Apache Cleaning Gun[edit | edit source]
The French really loved the knuckle duster,and for some reason decided to turn it into a gun? Really... I mean who the fuck cleans their Fireplace mantle with a fucking gun? That has got to be the most absurd thing I've ever heard of! IT EXISTS THOUGH AND IT IS BRASS KNUCKLE RELATED PRODUCT SO IT'S GOIN' ON THE LIST! The Product was designed by Pepe Le Pew in an attempt to make French people look badass when really they are fucking cowards. It took inspiration for the Colt Python Revolver[1] AKA the most overrated revolver in existence due to the fact it was made after splicing a python's DNA and fusing it with a revolver. The weapon was a YUGE success as it killed those evil dust mites and dust bunnies with ease!
The M1918 Cleaning Knife[edit | edit source]
The Americans, even though they love guns and love the idea of the Apache Cleaning Gun decided on an even cooler idea than the Cleaning Gun. A KNIFE! That's right, now you can clean your home and murder people AT THE SAME TIME (honestly how much more pointless could this get)!! Originally made to help Doughboys clean their very very very dirty trenches during World War I, now a great product for stabbing the living fuck out of those dust mites! GET YOURS TODAY!
Controversy[edit | edit source]
Many people don't like this thing. They are clearly dumb libtards who think everything is scary and banning things work when really it doesn't because people find loopholes around it anyways! Cops hate them too.
Really they think that a silly cleaning product is contraband? WTF?
