User:54x/Misdirection
“Look, a distraction!”
Misdirection is a time-honoured tradition among Ancient Romans, and is widely defined as the art of being the art of eventually getting around to describing how you end up telling small children patently ridiculous stories in order to stop them from finding out exactly what Mummy was doing with her New Friend "John, Oh John, yes, yes, harder!"
Misdirection in modern society is often employed in the use of humour, as many people find the surprise of a joke going in a completely different direction to be hilarious. These sorts of people should be reported to your local police department immediately. Alternatively, you could just report them to your neighbor, or just report them to yourself. Non-reportationship will result in the Ministry of Love siccing Big Brother on you, and we'd regret that now, wouldn't we?
Misdirection in Politics[edit | edit source]
Misdirection is an essential part of politics. Without it, polticians would be forced to tell the public what they were actually doing, and the resulting political chaos would likely knock society back into the Stone Age. And then we'd all feel rather silly, wouldn't we?
Misdirection in Religion[edit | edit source]
Misdirection is also the chief aim of Religion, so's you forget about all the cash they forced you to drop in the collection plate when Big Jimmy with arms the size of small countries tapped on your right shoulder.
Misdirection in Religion, like in Humour, was introduced by those hilarious Ancient Romans, who were really good for a laugh, when they first caught a bad case of religion. In an act described by many other romans as "stupid", the Emperor was forced to make christianity official after the Emperor lost a high-stakes poker game to Black Jesus.
It's also used extensively to avoid the location of highly embarassing and certianly not really present if you fully understand the text in context contradictions in the bible, the torah, and other more critically acclaimed holy books, that actually managed to hit the bestseller list.
Attempts to point out or rectify misdirections, contradictions, obstrufications, redirections, traffic congestions, or supercalifragilisticexpealidosiousisms in religion usually result in Big Jimmy tapping you on your left shoulder, and we'd all be a bit embarassed, wouldn't we?
Misdirection in Super-TopSecret Government Business, Eyes-Only, Tell Absolutely Nobody, This Means You, Susanne In Communications[edit | edit source]
Oddly enough, nobody ever thought of bringing Misdirection here. Instead, secret agents drive around in flashy cars, repeating their last names, blowing up landmarks, hijacking nuclear submarines, and betting the national treasury on poker games.
Someone could tell them, but honestly- nobody would like that, would we?
Misdirection Elsewhere[edit | edit source]
Oh look, a humpback whale!
Good, now that the reader's gone, time to run.