Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/UnNews:Evidence proving Yeti’s existence remains elusive
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UnNews:Evidence of Yeti's existence remains elusive[edit source]
My first effort here since early November, I think--now that school's out, I'm glad to say that I'm going to be writing here a lot more. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 21:28, December 22, 2010 (UTC)
Author request. Working on it now. --Black Flamingo 16:38, January 1, 2011 (UTC)Second thoughts, there's really nothing to say about this. I've taken this issue to Guildy's talk page, bear with me. --Black Flamingo 09:32, January 2, 2011 (UTC)Well it failed VFH, Guildy may still want a review though so this is up for grabs for now. --Black Flamingo 22:56, January 21, 2011 (UTC)
| Humour: | 7 | Not much to say here. It was too short an article. Just fucking with you, I know it was UnNews. I think the humor is on par with a good UnNews article. You stopped just shy of beating the horse to death, joke wise. And that is not a bad thing. It is good to get as much out of the joke as possible. So, good for you, you pragmatic jester. |
| Concept: | 8 | I myself have often wondered why these trashy, pseudo-scientific, mockeries of a documentary get produced. These channels are throwing away tons of money on this shit and they deserve to be lampooned by you. I think this was a great idea. |
| Prose and formatting: | 6 | just a little touch up on your third paragraph would improve the pacing of your article. For instance you wrote: "The 2010 History Channel Himalayan Yeti expedition was one of six cryptozoology-related expeditions financed by the cable channel this year, other notable tours including yet another sonar scan of Scotland’s Loch Ness that yielded no evidence corroborating the existence of the sea monster that supposedly lives there and the twelve man Mongolian Death Worm expedition, which unsuccessfully combed the Gobi desert for five weeks in search of a giant worm monster that purportedly spits acid and produces an electrical charge with its body." That is a lengthy sentence, even by Charles Dickens' standards. This is what I would do, personally. The first sentence should end with year. That is a strong, concise sentence. The rest can be re-written slightly, changing a word or two, to become the last sentence of the paragraph. |
| Images: | 7 | It was a good image and meets the UnNews format. But you knew that. |
| Miscellaneous: | 8 | You get a point for this being an original work. It is harder to write something from scratch. An article based off of another article has a template to work with. You did not. |
| Final Score: | 36 | So there it is. It is an above average article in my opinion, but again, you knew that. fix the sentence in the third paragraph and maybe add a coma (comma)here and there for the appropriate pause. I am sure you will be glad to have this off the pee review. |
| Reviewer: | --  16:05, February 10, 2011 (UTC)
| |
Are you suggesting that if Guildy goes into a coma, that would be an appropriate pause for him? Geez, that's rough. 
pillow talk 17:08, February 10, 2011 (UTC)
Alas, must we review the reviewer. My typos are inconsequential. I won't correct the typo, because your comment was so funny I couldn't feel ashamed. --