Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Nocturnal Hippie Artist
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Nocturnal Hippie Artist[edit source]
| Humour: | 5 | Very very very very eccentric. I like this sort of stuff personally, but I know for a fact that alot of other people will not. What yew really need to do is firstly, fix the intro. You need to add alot more info, like why is it a diary? Whose perspective is it from? I got kinda lost almost straight away 'cos it jumped straight from "Everyone knows about him" to a diary. The the diary needs to be put into proper prose to form a story along with the information below it. Or yew could just get rid of the diary altogether... either way's good. |
| Concept: | 5.5 | Nice idea, just not-so-well implemented into a story. In fact it doesn't really form a coherent story at all, it's just really a bunch of random diary entries. I think what yew need is to parody something: like Banksy, that could be a good idea. Just having a weird account on what this hippie is doing isn't really funny. |
| Prose and formatting: | 6 | The grammar is fine. There's some pretty funny stuff in there but it feels to... randomly structured. I can tell ywv attempted somewhat at a more informative-style article i.e. it's all based on the information (except the diary), but what yew really need is a story about him, not information. |
| Images: | 9 | Suits the article perfectly, and they're all funny in their own right not because of the image themselves but the captions under them. |
| Miscellaneous: | 6.4 | Averaged using {{Pee|5|5.5|6|9}} |
| Final Score: | 31.9 | The best thing yew could do to this article is to form a story using all the info ywv got, and use all the facts about him to form the intro to it. This article's got a lot of potential! |
| Reviewer: | ~Fag x FS | |
Thank you very much for your review. It has helped and I'll get right on the suggestions. A chainsaw salute to you, sir.
Jimmy the Hellhound 12:55, 14 January 2008 (UTC)
I WAS WONDERING IF SOMEONE COULD RE-PEE REVIEW THIS. I have edited the article and I would like to see what people think.
