Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Mr. Judge (volume II)

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Mr. Judge

So, Orian reviewed this for me, well, earlier this morning. He liked it, but he offered a fair few suggestions that I've incorporated, and am now looking for a second opinion on this. VFH? VFD? {{Stub}}? I don't know, you tell me! In-depth appreciated. ~~Heeren ["Meh"] [tecħ] [kurk] [12/07 18:40]

Also, if this lasts 'til August (meaning I'll be away in the U.S.), and that quick pee thing that MrN's been spamming everywhere goes through, that'll do here ta. ~~Heeren ["Meh"] [tecħ] [kurk] [28/07 19:05]

OK, one quick review coming up. In fact, it's so quick, I won't even slap my tag on it. --UU - natter 12:59, Aug 12

Humour:	7	Wow, that was bizarre. It took me a couple of goes to get started, because I was having a bit of trouble working out what was going on. I'd suggest making it much more obvious who's talking at each juncture, as the switch from narrator to Mr Judge and so forth threw me a bit despite the italics. Different fonts, different colour text, changing to an UnScript (possibly not the last one, but y'know, it's a suggestion) - something to make it easier to work out who's saying what.
Concept:	7	Ooh, odd. So an easily distracted judge dealing in a strange way with a couple of fantasy types? Plus the old quest to kill the bad guy running through. Kinda strange. I kinda like it, but was also confused at the same time.
Prose and formatting:	7	Yeah, tricky one to score, this, because while there are no major problems, it feels confused. Apart from the issue mentioned above, it feels like you're cramming a lot of ideas into not much text, so the main thrust of my advice in an in-depth review would be to expand it. Not in terms of adding sections, but in terms of giving what you have crammed in here a bit more space to breath. Make it a little clearer what's going on. I like the rapid jump to the guilty verdict from the action, but the preamble could be worked on a bit more in each section. If you want more explanation, drop in to my talk page.
Images:	8	The right number, and they are well used. Fine.
Miscellaneous:	7.3	Averaged
Final Score:	36.3	Potential, but confused, to my mind. I like it, but I think it needs untangling from itself a bit. Hope this helps. This is a quick review by my standards, isn't it!?
Reviewer:	--UU - natter 12:59, Aug 12