Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/HowTo:Hack your iPhone (resubmit)

2nd submut to pee review. 1st is here. Ideas/suggestions are greatly apreaciated.--Lieutenant THEDUDEMAN Dude ... Totally UOTM KUN GotA F@H 22:55, 2 January 2008 (UTC)

Humour:	7.5	Generally funny without ever making me laugh out loud. It should crescendo at some point; the narrator needs to get really pissed at the idiot who's reading. Go crazy.
Concept:	9	Generally a good concept. It would be great to either characterize the narrator as an extreme douche and the idiot as not really deserving the poor treatment but being clueless, or the narrator is just a rational person and the idiot is just irreparably hopeless. Drive it in one extreme direction or the other.
Prose and formatting:	7	"iPhones are becoming so popular that everyone has one now, heck, even my mom has an iPhone! If you want your iPhone experience to be truly unique, you should put serious thought into Hacking your iPhone." Awkward transition from "Get an iPhone" to "Hack your iPhone". The idiot should get the iPhone in the lead, and then have the narrator suggest that he get it hacked.
Images:	6.5	Adequately serve their purpose. Some more original/creative images would be nice. Some idiot holding an iPhone would be nice, as the previous review stated.
Miscellaneous:	7.5	Just a rough average of the other numbers
Final Score:	37.5	Needs just a little more work to get to great quality.
Reviewer:	-- §. \| WotM \| PLS \| T \| C \| A 04:30, 4 January 2008 (UTC)

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