Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/HowTo:Go into the light

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HowTo:Go into the light[edit source]

"Don't go into the light Carol Anne", but she did anyway. If she had read this, she would have known how! And someone, please make the Pee Review Table simple for us morons, maybe I could do a real one then. How it is now I can't make heads nor the tails of it. Thanks for reading this, now go away and don't come back. (There, I chased away everyone who would want to review this page, except for you. Get the fuck out of here. Can't you read English? No? Then no wonder.) Aleister 2:14 30 12 MMX

For some reason, I feel like I should be the one to review this. Sir SockySexy girls.jpg Mermaid with dolphin.jpg Tired Marilyn Monroe.jpg (talk) (stalk)Magnemite.gif Icons-flag-be.png GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotYPotM WotM 02:21, 30 December 2010
You should, you should, Socky! I sure ain't going to. Also, I'll make you a simpler table, Aleister, if you give me some idea of what that would mean... 1234 ~ 16px-Pointy.png 02:23, 30 December 2010
Thank you Socky! Just spit all over it, polish with a warm cloth, and be done with the thing. I sure don't want Lyrithya to review it. In case Lyrithya comes around here, just look at that table. H and C and P and M, and where do you go to write something on it, here on the edit page itself? Then how can you read the article at the same time, even if you can decode those letters. The only word I understand is Signature, but when I take out a pen and try to sign it it just skips over the computer screen and leaves blue marks. Aleister 2:28 30 12
Okay, see... you have two windows, one for the article, one for the review... I could make something more clearly labeled, though, I guess... actually, tried asking POTR? He might have one.
And AHAH! I knew it! I KNEW you actually hated my reviews, that you really were lying all along; I was right! *beams* 1234 ~ 16px-Pointy.png 02:58, 30 December 2010
I love your reviews, and was just playing off of you saying "I sure ain't going to". So stop that. You have helped my pages tree-mend is ly. Ah, two windows. Interesting. And yeah, more clearly labeled, not only for me but for future generations of users. I'm looking at it now and it looks so non-descriptive: Hscore Hcomments Cscore. What do those mean? I dunno. Aleister 3:17 30 12
Besides adding a pile of Aleister-friendly comments, I'm not really sure what to do... 1234 ~ 16px-Pointy.png 03:49, 30 December 2010
I'll do the review tonight. Sorry to keep you waiting. Also, Happy New Year! Sir SockySexy girls.jpg Mermaid with dolphin.jpg Tired Marilyn Monroe.jpg (talk) (stalk)Magnemite.gif Icons-flag-be.png GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotYPotM WotM 16:59, 1 January 2011
Humour: 8 Alright, let's get this review off the road. So you told me how the non-descriptiveness of the review table template confuses you. It should be pretty easy to figure out if you look at the boxes on the table the way it shows up on your screen. But then maybe your computer/cellphone/iPhone/whatever you're using isn't rendering the table correctly. In fact, I tend to forget what those letters mean so when I do a review, the first thing I do is add my signature to the signature box. This way it shows the review table in the preview instead of just this box that says "Not reviewed yet! Review now". Alright, so anyway, because I'm such a nice guy I'll explain what those letters mean at the start of the comment that's relevant to the letter. Right now, we're in the "Hcomment" box. It's the box that shows the reviewer's explanation of the Hscore. "Hscore" is short for "high score", the score that ranks how high you were when you wrote this.

The first thing I notice when looking at your article is the VFH template on top, indicating that your article is pretty high on the Uncyclopedia scale. Then my eyes spot a second template, indicating that this article may actually be accurate. I'm not sure if it really needs that template, seeing as Uncyclopedia articles are always highly accurate. Then I get to the first sentence of your introduction. I immediately notice the comma between December and 2012 and how much it bothers me. But I'll tell you about that kind of stuff in one of these other boxes, because commas have little to do with the highness level of your article. Alright, your introduction has a couple funny links and nice phrases. Which is nice. Onto the next section!

Well, this pre-game warmup sure sounds nice. Excuse me while I go hit on some pretty girls.... 2 hours pass by. Okay, I'm back. Well, this section is really nice. Just one question, though. Weren't it the Mayas that fired up that comet? Anyway, I'm gonna max out some credit cards and get a couple new identities now. I'll be back to finish this review soon, though. Time flies by and says hello to Aleister. Alright, the party's over I'm afraid. I died. How predictable. I think there was this third step too, but I seem to have forgotten about it.

This is where stuff gets tricky. You've got three subsections about what to do before going into the light, but it's all actually about floating around and doing stuff while being all immaterial. Out-of-body experiences are nice and all, but usually it's only called that if you come back to life and tell people about it. And I'm not sure "ghost" refers solely to long term ghosts. The prose is good, but I think you can come up with better titles for these subsections.

And without further ado, the main act. Well, I like it. It's all good. Alright, enough with the tallying already. Your article gets a score of 8 for highness. Which means it could use a couple more jokes, but it's already pretty good. Now onto the other scores on this table!

Concept: 8 The Cscore is where we try to see through the article's contents and discover the concept behind it. The doomsday/party-like-it's-1999/afterlife combo makes for a good concept, so you get an 8 here too.
Prose and formatting: 8 The P in Pscore refers to pee. Here the reviewer pees all over your prose and notes a couple things about the flow of it all. Well, one thing I noticed is how some of the sections could use a couple more links. Like one to Suddenly, Raccoons. Also, I think putting a space after Step Number: looks prettier. I also noticed how you've got two very small sections and was wondering if you can't incorporate them into each other. Also, you use a lot of !s in one of your footprints. I'm not sure if that's really necessary. I also notice you use an apostrophe when pluralizing abbreviations. Well, I'd just like to note that that's not really necessary and is sometimes confusing. This English language stuff really gets me in a knot sometimes. All this somehow adds up to 8.
Images: 8 The eye score is exactly what it says it is. Here we say thing about the stuff that's thrown at our eyes. Well, the images you use are relevant and overall pretty good looking. Weird how a picture of a black hole can be used in an article about going into the light. I spotted a penis in the second image, which kinda ruined that one for me. I wonder where I saw that third image before. I also like how you equate "dead" with "fictional" in that last image. I notice you don't use captions with all your images, but I don't really mind. An eight looks like two eyes, kinda.
Miscellaneous: 8 M. The Roman numeral for 1000, which is eight written in binary.
Final Score: 40 F stands for fucking. You fill in the rest.
Reviewer: Sir SockySexy girls.jpg Mermaid with dolphin.jpg Tired Marilyn Monroe.jpg (talk) (stalk)Magnemite.gif Icons-flag-be.png GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotYPotM WotM 12:18, 2 January 2011