Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/HowTo:Five Star Through The Fire And Flames on Expert
HowTo:Five Star Through The Fire And Flames on Expert[edit source]
Sure, this is nowhere near mid-2008 level me, I'll be the first to admit that. But it's my first mainspace article in about five months, and I want to make sure it's not VFD-level before I move on with it. –—Hv (talk) 12/04 22:16
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Tagstit doesn't believe in new fancy-pancy toilet systems with running water and all. Just a hole in the ground with a lil' cover will do. Now gimme' your article and I'll be done in a few minutes.
While you are welcome to review this, I suggest you find another article in need of help so that we can clear the ever growing Pee Request list. |
Hey did you know your apparantly my unmom? ~SirTagstit • VFH • NotM • PEEING • CPT • RotM • BFF 04:30, 13 April 2009 (UTC)
- By the way read concept first. ~SirTagstit • VFH • NotM • PEEING • CPT • RotM • BFF 20:15, 13 April 2009 (UTC)
| Humour: | 5 | This was very hit and miss for me. Maybe I didn't get some of it but like I said before, alot of it fell right where I expected it to. The best part was probably the last one about the gold stars, because no one would really expect that. I think if anything you should DEFINITELY keep that and maybe even expand on it more. I think it would help if you thought of new clever ways to win the game without actually winning. If you can think of any that is.
Some parts were really funny to throughout. For example, I loved the, "be ready to strum and OHMYGODHOWARETHERESOMANYNO..." part. It pretty much summed up the feeling we all have when that horde of notes comes raining down on us as our eyes bulge and mouths drop. Very good and a solid part of this article. Some parts I didn't like though. For example, I didn't like how the article talked to you and addressed itself. Phrases such as "it's not like you're going to finish the NO! BAD AUTHOR! BE SUPPORTIVE! NEW SENTENCE! Ahem... I mean...", and "Hey, I'm just an article! It's not like I can offend you, right?" kind of ruined the mood for me. Although that is only my opinion and I am not sure whether or not others will like it. Next, I didn't really like when the article strayed from the topic. For example, "You don't want to get mixed up in paradoxes and equations do you? No, didn't think so. Let's get back to the game and concepts you can understand without brain expansion surgery, eh?" is a bit too random to be funny. That also throws off the mood of the article. I think the article could do better without. Finally...well no that's it. |
| Concept: | 6 | Alright, I don't think too many people will be confused as to what this is when they read the title. The title in itself made me smile the first time because it brings back TONS of memories, such as when my friend let me try out guitar hero and put me on that song for the first time and I just held down all the buttons and strummed as fast as I could.
So in that respect, (the everyone will know what you are talking about respect) you nail it. What I don't like about it though, is that you go exactly where I was expecting you to. You went for the jokes about nerds playing it in their rooms all day and pushing aside their friends and families. But that is more for humor. |
| Prose and formatting: | 9 | Solid. Really not much I can say here. I could've sworn I saw a few slight misspellings and gramatical errors last night on my first read, but now I can't find them. One problem though is that the picture and howto template bunch up on my computer screen and creates a little ugly white section. That is the only formatting error I caught, but maybe it is okay on other screens. |
| Images: | 6 | Average pictures. Not hilarious but not random. The first one was good because it just set the tone. The second wasn't funny except for the caption. I think MAYBE you meant his hair grew TWO Japanese video game levels, but his hair grew to Japanese video game levels also makes sense so I just wanted to make you aware of that incase you meant "two". One more picture should definitely be added at the end to make this prettier and easier to read. I suggest one showing the stars taped on the T.V. but it really doesn't matter |
| Miscellaneous: | 6.5 | Averaged |
| Final Score: | 32.5 | I liked it. I hope this helped you out a little bit to get you started on finishing this. If you have any questions feel free to ask me on my talk page. Good luck! |
| Reviewer: | ~SirTagstit • VFH • NotM • PEEING • CPT • RotM • BFF 20:15, 13 April 2009 (UTC) | |