Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Gina the No-Headed Gymnast Olympic Ready
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UnNews:Gina_the_No-Headed_Gymnast_Olympic_Ready[edit source]
Smuggler 09:47, 10 August 2008 (UTC)
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This article is under review by <font-weight:bold>Gerry Cheevers. Sayeth Gerry: shotgun!! |
| Humour: | 7 | this article is pretty solid humor-wise. the subtle references to the no-headedness are much better than blatant jokes. however, i think a one blatant joke wouldn't go amiss (some kind of terrible pun to end a paragraph might do it). but the way you approach it is great; i didn't even see the tears line coming, and it took me a second to realize it. however, i had to look up what an opthamologist was; you should perhaps link to eye or this wikipedia page. i would say this is funny enough for the unnews front page (which i believe it attained), but a little short for the main page. also, the acronym for UCLA kinda rubbed me the wrong way, as do pretty much any made-up acronyms. i think they work better if they're closer to reality, like if most of the words are aren't changed from what they really are (example: university of california at los alamos. if it makes people think 'hey, wait a minute, that's not right', then it might be better than something completely made-up). |
| Concept: | 8 | 4/5 points for a well-known subject worthy of parody. i've seen this photo before, and it's asking for a smart-ass article.
4/5 points for execution. a solid way of taking the picture and turning into a news story. |
| Prose and formatting: | 5.5 | you had a few prose mistakes, i'll run it through the UN:PS for you. the one image is extremely gigantic; it squishes eveything else to the side. i would recommend shrinking the image and seeing if you can come up with another one; try UN:PIC to request something. after that, i would add some content; maybe s few more paragraphs. things like her past olympic experience (she's 22 now, she was 18 last time) or somesuch would work well. |
| Images: | 7 | you just have the one image, but it fits extremely well, and contributes to the article with a good caption to boot. having said that, i again think you need to find another image; there has to be tons of images of gymnasts out there. chop one to make it look like a headless gymnast, or request one, again at UN:PIC |
| Miscellaneous: | 6.9 | averaged |
| Final Score: | 34.4 | my preview button tells me that your score is 34.4, placing your article right around the 'adequate, the average article' range. i think that it works very well as it is. if you're looking for a VFH run, then i would try those things i suggested (another image, a few more paragraphs, etc.) i'll do some proofreading for you in a few minutes. if you need anything else, you can find me on my talk page. good luck! |
| Reviewer: | 13:22, 20 August 2008 (UTC) | |