Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Don't be a menace...
Don't be a menace in south central, El Pueblo de Nuestra Señora Reina de los Ángeles sobre El Rio Porciuncula, California while drinking your Pimp Juice in the Middle of the road in da hood.[edit source]
I made a page called "Don't be a menace..." and I could need some feedback. If it's not too good, the let's make it better.MrCleveland 17:17, 2 June 2008 (UTC)
| Humour: | 4 | It wasn’t exceptional by any means but I think the article may have potential. You really need to expand the plot and explain the film in detail. As you had it, it was kind of thin. I know this is kinda self-referential but I wrote this film article a while ago. I’m just trying to show you what you can do with a (Un)film article. You need to explain the plot, what’s actually going on with who and why? You did very little of this. Don’t just briefly explain it like you’re talking to someone who doesn’t want to know.
Also you mention that the cast get arrested for being too realistic. I think you should expand that idea way more maybe get in a funny line about police brutality? Might be an idea. Like I’ve hinted at don’t just talk about the movie itself talk about stuff after the movie, you hinted at it with the box office section you had, you just need to expand it. I’m not too sure about this long name thing. But maybe you could expand the idea like in a section titled “reception” you could describe how the cultish fans war over how to shorten it. Something absurd like that. |
| Concept: | 5 | though I don’t think it’s massively original an “in da hood” movie I think you can expand into directions (as above) and you could certainly have a different angle to it. |
| Prose and formatting: | 5 | it was ok but needs work. You say it’s a film right so why not have a template like mine with a “movie poster” in it (would be a good way of getting at least one picture).
Lists are generally discouraged. What I suggest you do with yours is combine them and turn each character/actor into a piece of prose, even short(ish) paragraphs are better than lists. Give the character and the actor explain how they relate to one another even quote the actor saying some of that sanctimonious BS about having to “get into the min of Ashtray” or give a bit of scandal. Expand it someway anyway. Also it needs general expansion as, as it is, it’s a bit short. And also watch your spelling and grammar. |
| Images: | 0 | Images are a necessity in all articles. Try to pick stuff at least relevant and make the picture funny with the caption. Better yet is to get a funny picture and a funny caption. |
| Miscellaneous: | 3.5 | Averaged the score of other fields. |
| Final Score: | 17.5 | Do really read HTBFANJS it’s really helpful and don’t forget to read through some of the featured content.
If you would like to ask/thank/insult me about anything please visit my talk page. |
| Reviewer: | Have Fun!MuCal.  Orian57 17:45 6 June 2008
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