Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/DeviantART

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DeviantART

Note:the original one really sucks and is totally random.i total revamped it, And i think it is not good enough, but at least (i think)it is better than the original text.--Fcukman 11:40, May 20, 2011 (UTC)

I got this.---   TALK What's it like to be a heretic? 04:56, May 21, 2011 (UTC)

review in process, wont take to long---   TALK What's it like to be a heretic? 17:04, May 22, 2011 (UTC)

Near completion.---   TALK What's it like to be a heretic? 15:55, May 23, 2011 (UTC)

I really can't understand why you always take so long with these. I'm not going to take it to an admin now but please don't make a habit of it. --Black Flamingo 16:27, May 23, 2011 (UTC)

Wasn't suppose to take this long. I meant to get this done yesterday, then there was a family emergency. I never wanted to take so long with pee reviews again, and yet I've done so. I'll try to get them done on time for now on.---   TALK What's it like to be a heretic? 16:33, May 23, 2011 (UTC)

Okay, great. Nice to see you reviewing again. --Black Flamingo 16:40, May 23, 2011 (UTC)

Humour:	2	Like I said in the Concept section, there are things that can work, and things that are just fail. First let me explain the parts that do work. I do like the fact that the article explains the some users use nudity for their art, because that's true (on Uncyclopedia, we value the truth over nonsense, if you can make it funny). I've seen people make fan art on Deviant art so that works. And I've not been on that much nor do much to know how the admins do their jobs or how vicious they're are, but that could work as well. Now let's get to the parts that do not work. First, the quotes. Quotes, like list, are overused and arent funny most of the time. There may be a time a quote does work and it make the article funny; not the case here, so remove them. I already explained about randomness and cruft in the concept section, so I won't go into detail about that again. The past major event and discipline sections do not work out as they have unfunny list full of randomness, so get rid of those sections or completely rewrite them with something better. And the entire "fantards are evil" thing just seems stupid. You can explain about how the site is full of fans who create fan art and make humor out of that, but keep the bashing and the "fantards are evil" thing out (and by the way, grues are worst, trust me.) I'm iffy about the llama thing. I guess it could work, but right now it's not working out (lists and randomness), so fix that up (I suggest completely rewriting the section) and it should be fine.
Concept:	2	I've been a member of DeviantART for some time, not as an artist but to see what people drawn. I actually like DeviantART, because it allows people to express their ideas and fantasies. It's a pretty awesome site. Unfortuantly, I can't say the same thing about this article. It's something that could be VFD material, but not a NRV (no redeeming value) if it's worked on properly. Now I think some ideas can be useful, but most of it doesn't cut the cheese, but I'll get to that in the Humor section. Let's talk about the concept. What really kills the article is the fact that this seems more like a rant, something that is not viewed as funny here unless it's a fictional rant by a movie director, like in this article, or something like that. What also kills this article is that it makes the site look more like a land. In my opinion it should sound more like a site. And finally there is alot of cruft and randomness. Things like, "Bill Cosby visits in 2010. We shall speak of this no more. Let's just say the artistic nudes server was down for a good 3 hours" is just random and stupid. The reader would be turned down from such randomness, so let's avoid that. Try to show humor about the site, how people do stuff, whats there, how are the users, how people think of the site. And try to keep randomness as low as possible. And there's the tone. It crosses from first person and third person. That is confusing to readers and looks un professional, so you have to choose one tone and keep to it the entire time.
Prose and formatting:	4	The spelling is at least good, but there's alot of words without a space between them, and I don't like that. Also there's lists. Not going to lie to you, lists nowadays are overused and not as funny. Plus they rush through the jokes, which kinda ruins the flow of the article. Sometimes they work, but here it does not, so they must go. It's prefered that you use paragraghs instead of lists, as they go into detail of the joke and gets the reader interested. If you want to use them in your articles, try to use lists sparingly. Very sparingly. So, to make a long story short, delete the list (I don't think the humor in them is good anyways), and come up with new things. Same thing with the cross outs; overuse and should be use sparingly. They don't work here, so get rid of them. Also, making a link to the website is not necessary (we have google search bars) but I'll let you decide on what to do with it.
Images:	5	Possibly the better part of the article. Though the nudity one; it needs to go. People would understand that it has nudity, but we don't really need to see it to believe it on this site. I think the other images work out fine, but they need better captions. I do like the first one where Misty is turning into a Dragonair. Very nice.
Miscellaneous:	3.3	My average grade of this article.
Final Score:	16.3	I dread to think what this looked like before you worked on it. Even though you may have fix it up, it's still bad. But there's hope. Some of the stuff here can be funny if done properly. If you flollow my advise, this article may even reach VFH, but it needs much work and love. Feel free to ask me questions on my talk page. Cheers!---   TALK What's it like to be a heretic? 16:29, May 23, 2011 (UTC)
Reviewer:	---   TALK What's it like to be a heretic? 16:29, May 23, 2011 (UTC)