Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/American flag lapel pin
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American flag lapel pin[edit source]
Graah, first article since I got back here. Thought it was a clever idea but I still feel it needs more. Any help would be just dandy. ~Minitrue Sir SysRq! Talk! Sex! =/ GUN • WotM • RotM • AotM • VFH • SK • PEEING • HP • BFF 18:51, 24 November 2007 (UTC)
| Humour: | 6 | This is a nice little article based on a good idea. Maybe as I am not from the US some of the humour present here is missed by me. I liked the "Black presidential candidate, terrorist, or both." line, that was un-expected, but other than that I did not detect much to make me chuckle. I'm not sure about the link to Fox News, well, OK I am. I liked that. I'm a particular fan of when Fox say something like "We will tell you the news, and then explain it for you afterwards". If your going to slate fox, I think you have to reference there habit of telling people how to think, rather than just telling them the truth (like our beloved BBC.. |
| Concept: | 7 | One of the more original Ideas I have seen. I think there is a lot more potential to expand here. Basically this is an opportunity to take the piss out of those who pretend to be more patriotic than they really are, or wish for some reason for others to believe in their love of America. How about a picture of Bin Ladden using the flag pin to "trick" his way into the country? Anything where people are pretending to be patriotic when they are not would be good. What about other token people using it to "attempt" to prove their love of their country? Castro? Stalin? Hitler maybe? Car stickers, flags hung out of windows. What about singing the national anthem un-necessarily loud at church so that everyone can tell you really love your country? History of the pin? Did Washington use it to defeat the English in the war of independence? I think you will find he did... |
| Prose and formatting: | 7 | Reasnibly good sentence structure. A little bit short on links for my liking. I don't like how the text flows around the picture at the top, but I'm not sure what to do about that... |
| Images: | 6 | Well it's hard to fault the images, they are relevant, but for me they don't really add much to the humour. They are really just "factual" and I would like the pictures to be a little more unexpected. |
| Miscellaneous: | 6.5 | (Averaged) |
| Final Score: | 32.5 | For me this is potentially a very good idea, but it need a lot of expansion. It's a good Vehicle to attach fake patriotism, and I don't think you have really given it the justice it deserves. Make it longer! Turn this article into a comprehensive slate on those who use patriotism for the wrong reasons and your onto a real winner. It's just not finished yet. Get too it! |
| Reviewer: | MrN  16:15, Dec 5
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