UnNews:UnNews audio possessed by evil entities

This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-picosecond misinformation.

7 October 2006

Vote T F Gumby for MP.

THE INTERWEB, UnNews bunker -- UnNews audio was hijacked, or in this case, soul-jacked, by at least seven distinct entities during the course of normal business today. An unnamed audiocaster began behaving strangely about three hours ago, when he demanded "toast done on one side" from his dog Evelyn, and then from his wife, some kind of satanic sausage made from blood or something.

"It's amazing. He's catatonic and yet he can still speak... sort of." a disheveled and damp John Edward, famed psychic and leprechaun said to UnNews. " I sensed at least seven distinct entities communicating through UnNews newly-discovered medium while speaking with him on the phone. True, he does sound like an idiot, but hell, have you ever watched my retarded shit on late night? I mean, the sheer volume of easily deceived sheep in America googles the mind. I hope that UnNews will respect my boundaries as it plummets into the psychic news business. See?, Even you didn't know that was going to happen yet."

John Edward's steely psychic gaze fill UnNews with dread. And what's with that tan line on his forehead?

UnNews has resolved to disrespect John Edward entirely. It's been discovered that the particular audiocaster in question was cycling through the medications, prescribed by a team of Harvard research psychiatrists, mind you, and that his problem is entirely psychotropic.

We apologise for the ranting, random drivel you, our dear readers, have been exposed to thus far. So now, I only ask that you vote "Mr. R L Gumby" for president in the upcoming electoral farce election

Sources

• UnNews Staff "UnNews: Pathetic waste of bandwidth, or the new "Red Menace?"" UnNews, October 7, 2006