UnNews:TiVO breaks, Man flips his lid.
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This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-picosecond misinformation. |
27 August 2008
Puckerbutt, New Hampshire
A thunderous "Boom!" was heard through the forest of Deerfield last night, as a man flipped his shit after his TiVo displayed an error message. "The screen flashed "ID-10-T" 5 times then shut off." said Baldy O'Hoolihan, the crazed man's live-in dish washer. "Then Nigel flipped his shit." Nigel being the man who dun flipped his shit.
Baldy continued, "Then the toaster went flying, the dog got kicked in the liver, and he threw a whole stack of my favorite magazines; Childerens Highlights included, right through the wall. It was horrible! I was scared that my testicles were going to be gobbled up next! Wait... that wouldn't have been so bad."
Nigel however, ignored the shorn set of testes and moved on to the neighbor's yard where he peed in the man's well, took a dump down the man's chimney, and told the man that his children were ugly as shit.
Reports from the local Sheriff's Office state that the destruction was incredible that millions of dollars were lost due to one man's rage over a $50 electric unit. The TiVO itself was later recovered under 6 feet of barney-type rubble.
It was later discovered that said TiVO wasn't broken but instead the machine was calling the guy an idiot. Problem is, a NooB doesn't know that as since 1997 the way machines call you an Idiot is by popping up an "ID-10-T" error message.
Nigel's rampage continued throughout the night including reportedly punching a goat in the head, chipping its horn. The Goat was helpless as it was tied to a pickup truck with a 3 foot rope.
Nigel Sillypants remains at large.
Sources[edit | edit source]
- Fenway1912 (the asshole who likes to think he knows it all, and probably doesn't, but people keep telling him he does.. so naturally he thinks he does, but really he just sucks at life) "TiVO breaks, Man flips his lid" Couch Potato Magazine, August 28, 2008