UnNews:Space Station to be Renamed
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This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-picosecond misinformation. |
15 April 2009
CAPE CANAVERAL, Florida -- In a surprise move, NASA officials announced today that, in light of comedian Stephen Colbert's popularity in their online poll, they will now rename the entire space station after him. "It just seemed like the right thing to do" said NASA administrator Christopher Scolese. "I mean, even some congressmen urged us to name it after him. And as always, NASA is truly concerned with what congress has to say. Besides, why would we have a poll if we had no intention of listening to people's suggestions?"
This comes in response to a stipulation in H.R. 1, which states "The results of all online polls conducted by a government agency must be strictly adhered to." The naming was so important to the nation's psyche, that even some US leaders felt the need to get involved. "Naming this installation after a TV personality is one of the most important items on the congressional agenda" remarked Philadelphia congressman Chaka Fattah. "It's not like there's more pressing issues out there. Like a global economic collapse, Iranian nuclear weapons, or a Russian weapons build-up. I feel it is my personal responsibility to hold NASA to its non-binding online poll."
Others were not so pleased with the station's new name. "This is a travesty" commented ex-actor William Shatner. "I just don't, understand. It should have been named, after me. I mean, come on. I'm, Captain Kirk. Priceline can get you a 3 star hotel for the price of a 2 star."
Other top suggested names included: Two Cows, Dune, Enterprise, Battletoad, Serenity, Sophia, and Sodomy.
Sources[edit | edit source]
- "Space Station to Bear Comedian's Moniker, Firefly fans Crushed" ABC, April 15, 2009