UnNews:Secret Soma formula revealed by Leary estate

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7 July 2010


LAGUNA BEACH, California -- Good news for the world’s psychedelic community: Late Prof. Dr. Timothy Leary’s secret formula for making the celestial drug Soma has just been made public by his estate, the Brotherhood of Eternal Love.

What is Soma? According to a press release by the ‘Brotherhood’, Soma is a celestial beverage in India’s mythology that’s essentially non-physical and has never been found in the material creation.

But based on Indic descriptions of Soma's effects given by the Hindu gods, Dr. Leary - prior to blasting into Earth orbit - concocted a formula for synthetic Soma that would produce similar effects.

The top-secret formula, which is patented in the Cayman Islands, has only been made public by the ‘Brotherhood’ on the popular Internet site, Uncyclopedia.

The ingredients and formula are given by Dr. Leary as follows:

But the real question is how does it work?

In uncontrolled tests using synthetic Soma on lab-elephants, Dr. Leary claims to have proved that it can be used for the following:
As a sure cure for Death (Pending approval of Illuminati Medical Association). To get one's Zanzibari Magic Carpet to work. To visualize musical notes written in toothpaste. To laugh uncontrollably at a very thought. See a table lamp with the head of a pig. Or get lost in one's own bedroom. A user can also approach God on HIGH. Plus, sell for a fortune, and, generally get zoned once in a while.

Soma - until now non-existent - would be illegal if it is existent, but it’s not illegal yet. With the formula now public domain, any entrepreneur who has a huge factory, a good on-line shopping cart, and a private army, plus an agreement with the local precinct, a cut to the mob, and a good lawyer, can go into business.

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This article features first-hand journalism by an UnNews correspondent.