UnNews:Russian government denies Putin entered pride parade

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Tuesday, June 4, 2024

The alleged photo.

The Russian parliament is currently embroiled in an intense scandal which could upend the entire structure of the nation. The scandal is about an alleged photo of Tsar President Vladimir Putin in rainbow makeup promoting a pride parade somewhere in Florida. Initially regarded as superstition, when TikTokers shown photos of Vladdy participating in the parade, many Russians were confused why the fuck their homophobic leader is gay.

Dr. Sarah Paythi, a psychologist at the University of Kent, stated that "Putin is likely suffering from Haggard's Law, which basically means he arrested all those gay people for no reason at all." As a result, countless conservatives who used to personally send aid to the Russian cause thinking that the Russians were right-leaning are now revoking aid and are fighting for Ukraine. Additionally, several people are claiming it to be the most extreme Russian reversal in history.

This revelation is really bad for Donald Trump, whose whole campaign and really secret projects require Putin to not be gay. The last of Trump's representatives stated that Trump was now seeking to go to an area with Hamas. The representative also stated that Trump mistaken them for hummus, which he thought was an Israeli dish like Matzo. Regardless, Russian officials are expected to appoint Yevgeny Prigozhin, who actually survived the crash which supposedly killed him by doing a Russian Reversal and was living peacefully in Belarus, as the nation's new president.