UnNews:Royals Blasted for "hunting Romanian Gypsies"

This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-picosecond misinformation.

15 October 2007

"Good shooting ma'am, thats one less pikey blaggard to sponge off the state by jove!"

FUTURE KING OF ENGLAND Kate Middleton last night found herself at the centre of a public row over her decision to go hunting for Eastern European immigrants with the Royal Family. Prince William's girlfriend joined a shooting party in Scotland at the weekend where more than 60 Romanians, Poles and Bulgarians were reportedly shot and killed.

"Kate is obviously trying to endear herself to the Royal Family and her decision will do her no favours whatsoever," said a spokesman for campaign group People for Ethical Treatment of Dirty Foreigners.

It is thought that Ms Middleton managed to bag her first few kills and apparently managed to stalk and shoot dead an entire Romanian family whilst they slept in their caravan. Prince Charles and two ghillies were seen applauding as she shot, shot and shot again. Charles himself was heard hooting in glee, "shit Kate, you blew the bastards head clean orrff."

During the hunt Kate appeared "completely at ease" as Charles's ghillies talked her through the firing procedures and pointed out potential spots where Bulgarians and Romanians frequented. Luckily for the plucky future Prince of Hearts it was "benefits cheque day" and the gypo bastards were out in force.

"Gosh, I nearly came then!"

Later in the afternoon, Kate was seen driving across the hills back to Birkhall, the prince's home on the estate, with four severed "Bulgarian" heads tied to the bonnet of her Landrover. It is expected they will take pride of place above her mantlepiece.

Last night a spokesman for the League Against Shooting Foreigners for Sport criticised Middleton for hunting the immigrants, "Killing Eastern European immigrants for a sport is a horrible pastime."

"I think a much more humane way of getting rid of them would be to shoot them out of a giant cannon, in a circus or somthing." he said last night, "and what about the bloody Pakistanis, there's millions of the bastards out there and no one's willing to shoot them, are they?".

Yvonne Farthertwat of the People for Ethical Treatment of Dirty Foreigners. added: "Kate is obviously shooting dirty foriegners, which is absolutely appalling when you consider that there is a multitude of scrounging British scum out there that need culling."

The Duke of Edinburgh was unavailable for comment this morning and was last seen whipping one of his African slave boys for looking him in the eye. He is however reportedly more than proud of his future son-in-laws penchant for shooting foreign scum.

"I particularly hate them f**king Greeks!" He is reported to have said.

Sources

• BANG!BANG!BANG!BANG! "BANG!" "I think I just winged it.", October 15, 2007