UnNews:New Hampshire primary plays out like Oscars -- Old white guys win
Wednesday, February 10, 2016
MANCHESTER, New Hampshire -- If the February 1 Iowa caucus played out like the Golden Globes, with Hillary Clinton and Ted Cruz emerging victorious, then Tuesday's New Hampshire primary played out like the Oscars.
Everyone's favorite angry-old-guy underdog, Bernie Sanders, and everybody's least favorite racist-sexist candidate, Donald Trump, rebounded after placing second in their respective parties in Iowa. Trump has earned a staggering 34 percent of the vote in New Hampshire, while Sanders sits at 58 percent.
Clinton earned 40 percent, while Martin O'Malley wasn't even a blip on the radar. And if you really care, Cruz fells to third place with only 12 percent. Who took second place? John Kasich, who didn't fare well himself with only 16 percent.
The turnout is reported to be record-breaking. It also shows that New Hampshire sure loves its old white guys.
"I know for a fact," Sanders said in his victory speech, "that Trump only won for two reasons. One, nobody has ever heard of the other [Republican] candidates. And two, we the people want to see him fall in November. We want to see him with egg on his face."
Sanders tore into the subjects of Wall Street, Super PACs, the wealthy one percent, and income equality.
"I'm going to New York City, which I just got back from doing a cameo on SNL. But I'm not going there for a fundraiser on Wall Street."
He plans to raise minimum wage to $15, give women equal pay, and eliminate student debt.
"To the corrupt, wealthy one percent who continue to control this country, get off my lawn."
Sources[edit | edit source]
- Grant Paw "#NewHampshireSoWhite" Faux News, February 9, 2016