UnNews:Iran threathens to Start Flamewar

This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-picosecond misinformation.

20 September 2006

Computer generated simulation of what a flamewar with Iran could look like.

NEW YORK, New York -- As of today, U.S. forces are warming up for the possibility of a flame war with Iran and other nations.

Earlier, a highly distraught Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad was pacing backstage at the UN General Assembly, when he stopped long enough to holler at Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez before he took the podium to make an address, "Yo! Hugo! Open a can of sum raid up there. Tell them cigar-chompers what it is.".

Chavez wasted no time to start flamethrowing during his visit to the podium by noting that, "In this very spot it smells like a pigsty still," an apparent reference to the earlier appearance by his President Bush, who twice struck stick matches to re-light his poorly rolled blunt.

Chavez said Bush was like a reincarnation of Dean Martin, and called the permanent members to the un-Secure Council the Rat Pack.

The U.S. Ambassador to the U.N., John Bolton, said, "I’m just not going to comment on this because his remarks just don’t warrant a response." But Bolton couldn't resist commenting anyway and said, "President Bush is secretly flattered to be compared to Dino, and conveyed that Bush had this to say to Chavez and Ahmadinejad, "YabaDabaDOOO!".

Should a flame war start, all U.S. communications satellites will be forced to void their warranty and overclock their CPUs. Insurance firms are outraged as voiding the satellite warranties starts insurance claims.

Iranian forces have moved into position to begin flaming various sites, including Wikipedia, Google, eBay, Yahoo and other traffiky sites.

Sources

• The Pillsbury Doughboy "Hot time in Tehran tonight!" Giant Rat Of Sumatra Weekly, September 20, 2006